


On the Waves

by OneWhoSitsWithTurtles



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: (from Brendol), (hinted at; from Brendol), Alternate Universe - Cruise Ship, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Blow Jobs, Crossdressing, Cruise Ships, F/F, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Falling In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Hidden Feelings, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Jealousy, Kissing, Lingerie, M/M, Marking, Masturbation, Misunderstandings, Physical Abuse, Possessive Behavior, Rutting, Self-Esteem Issues, Semi-Public Sex, Strangers to Lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-18
Updated: 2018-12-18
Packaged: 2019-09-22 11:24:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 33,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17058902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OneWhoSitsWithTurtles/pseuds/OneWhoSitsWithTurtles
Summary: Armitage Hux is forced to join his father and step-mother on a 14 day cruise hosted for high society families to network and debut their children to the world. Now that Armitage is 25 years old he is expected to marry someone whose family will strengthen the Hux business and if by the end of the cruise Armitage isn’t engaged, he’s in trouble. Worse still is the fact that Armitage is gay and his father would disown him if he knew.Resigned to a miserable two weeks, Armitage is caught off guard when he catches the eye of Ben Solo, who is on the cruise with his own family. It doesn’t help that Ben is exactly his type and although Armitage tries, he can’t resist temptation as he and Ben become close. For two weeks their affection grows in secret with one question remaining: what happens when the cruise ends and their time together runs out?





	1. Day 1 and 2

**Author's Note:**

> This was my first big bang ever and to say I was daunted would be an understatement. However, it has been an incredible opportunity to work with the amazing invadxrs. I'm so grateful we got to bring this story to life together <3
> 
> Invadxrs' fantastic art is embedded into the story and can also be found on the various platforms all linked at the end of the story. Go check it all out!

_Day One_

 

They were one of the first families to walk onto the ship and so they were the main focus of each crew member they passed. The cruise would be a two week roundtrip through the Caribbean though there were no tropical shirts in sight. Armitage suspected this was because this cruise was being offered to the highest members of society and those within that circle were often needlessly choosy about what “the service” wore.

 

Armitage walked three paces behind his father and step-mother up the gangplank and into the main atrium of the ship. He had only his phone and wallet in his pants pockets and his ship key card in one hand; all of their baggage had been delivered to their rooms directly. No service was too extravagant for the attendees of this cruise, and every crew member Armitage passed wore an excited and welcoming smile.

 

“Welcome aboard, sirs, ma’am,” they chorused to Brendol and Maratelle first and Armitage immediately after. Disliking the attention and the fact that he was on board at all, Armitage kept his head down and followed quietly while they were led to their rooms.

 

They reached Armitage’s room first, an interior cabin with no natural light beyond a small porthole. “I’m going to go ahead to the suite,” Maratelle said, remaining in the hallway while Armitage opened his door and entered the room. They would be staying in a suite with a balcony up on the twelfth deck while Armitage would be rooming down on the seventh deck. When Armitage had first been told this, Brendol had said ‘ _you need to earn your keep, boy_ ’ as if he expected Armitage to complain. On the contrary; the further away Armitage was from Brendol and Maratelle, the happier he would be.

 

“I’ll meet you there,” Brendol responded to his wife and Armitage tried to not make it obvious the way his shoulders tensed, knowing another ‘ _talk_ ’ with his father was imminent.

 

Armitage walked fully into his room, taking in the details quickly. For a single occupant it was more than enough and was tastefully decorated. Immediately to his right was a little alcove with a small closet and a washroom with a standing shower. Further in there was a small desk with a phone and brochures for ship information, as well as a mirror on the wall. Beyond that the room widened to accommodate a queen-sized bed, a TV mounted on the wall and the porthole at the very end of the room.

 

After confirming that his suitcase and messenger bag had been delivered and were waiting at the foot of his bed, Armitage forced himself to turn around and face his father. Brendol’s critical gaze narrowed to him. “I trust you remember what is expected of you on this trip,” he said.

 

“Yes, father,” Armitage answered without emotion. He hated having to act this way, bowing to his father’s disapproving stare and bitter words, but he had no other choice. Yes, Armitage’s family was rich, but that didn’t mean Armitage had access to any of that money to get himself free of his father’s control. He was allotted only what he needed for school or work and his salary was funnelled back into the “family accounts”. Not to mention the fact that Armitage wasn’t allowed to work anywhere except at the family law firm to gain even an inch of freedom.

 

“The business needs new blood,” Brendol began his speech again anyway. Armitage laced his hands behind his back, listening wearily. He had heard this five times already. “Ideally, rich and powerful blood, and this is the best place to find it. Everyone who is anyone will be on this cruise and just as eager to make beneficial connections. Your job,” Brendol pointed a finger at him, “is to convince the most important heiress you can find to marry you.”

 

“Yes, father,” Armitage parroted. He certainly wasn’t going to protest; the last time he did earned him a slap sharp enough to make his eyes water. Armitage couldn't tell Brendol the true reason why he objected – that he would prefer an _heir_ to an _heiress_ – because that would only make things worse. He wished he could just ask his friend Phasma. She was the only one who knew he was gay and might even agree to a fake marriage where they could both seek out their preferences in private. But in Brendol’s words, she was considered ‘ _low-hanging fruit_ ’ and wouldn’t suffice.

 

“I have linked your key card to my account so that you may spend whatever money is necessary to win her over,” Brendol continued on. This also meant that Brendol could track at any time what Armitage was spending money on. “If you do not have an engagement to announce during the farewell banquet there will be… consequences.”

 

Internally Armitage’s chest felt tight with anxiety but he kept his face neutral. “I understand.”

 

“I certainly hope you do,” Brendol said in a way that was a clear warning and then left.

 

Only when the door closed did Armitage allow himself to lean against the wall and exhale heavily. He closed his eyes and focused on his breathing but the tightness in his chest didn’t abate. Armitage had planned to unpack immediately but now all he wanted was fresh air and an open space. He was already dressed well in tailored gray slacks, a white button-up shirt and an emerald green waistcoat, which had been warm outside in the November Florida air but was perfect for the ship’s interior. So, after glancing at himself in the mirror and needlessly smoothing down his hair, Armitage left his room and headed back towards the atrium.

 

More guests were coming on board now, the trickle becoming a wave of people dressed in their finest. Wanting to avoid the worst of the crowds, Armitage took the stairs one level above where everyone was entering and settled against a railing to eye the room. The atrium was beautifully designed, open from deck five to deck eight with two gilded elevators, swooping staircases lining each side and a ceiling decorated with painted glass. Each level looked out into the atrium similar to outdoor balconies, with lounges and other amenity rooms available on each.

 

Behind Armitage was one such lounge where he saw a young woman with black hair in a tight bun playing a grand piano. The classical music was familiar and calming, helping to somewhat drown out the din of voices below, and Armitage spent a minute focusing on each note as he slowed his breathing. His one respite about this whole two week cruise was the fact that Phasma would in fact be on board with her own family. Although she would not be the solution to his problems, she could at least make this trip bearable before Armitage’s inevitable demise at the end when he had no engagement to announce to his father.

 

Piano chords settling comfortably in the middle ground of Armitage’s attention, he refocused on the floor below him in search of his friend. He knew she would be easy to spot considering her impressive height and white-blond hair, though he didn’t know what time her family was planning to arrive and board. Having nowhere else to be, Armitage settled in and started to people-watch as they were greeted and led down various halls and to elevators to find their designated rooms.

 

The pianist had flourished her way through two songs before someone caught Armitage’s eye. It wasn’t Phasma but instead a young man, probably around the same age as Armitage himself. He stood taller than everyone else around him and he seemed large in every way: nose, lips, shoulders… From a floor above Armitage couldn’t make out every detail but he saw the man had long dark hair hanging loose around his face and he was dressed in tight dark jeans and a crisp gray button-up that was open around the collar.

 

In one instant Armitage felt a spark of heat at the sight of the attractive man, then in the next moment he was mentally chiding himself. _Don’t even think about it_. But his thoughts were eager, his attention snagged, and a quieter, hopeful voice whispered in his head; _Looking can’t hurt if no one knows._

 

The plan instantly backfired when the man brushed a few locks of hair from his face and turned his gaze from the attendants greeting him up into the atrium and their eyes locked. Armitage froze, hands suddenly gripping the railing too tight. Despite the distance between them Armitage saw clearly the man's down-and-back-up gaze along his form and the appreciative look that resulted on the man’s face. Heart pattering madly, Armitage clenched his jaw and forced himself to look away, hoping he was successful in feigning a bored expression.

 

Failing to announce an engagement to an heiress at the end of the cruise was one thing, but getting caught with a man – however attractive – was suicide.

 

After a few long seconds Armitage snuck a glance back down into the atrium lobby to find that the man was gone. Armitage sighed, refusing to acknowledge the fact that he was more disappointed than relieved, and tried again to watch the crowd filtering in for Phasma.

 

The pianist had just started a new song, slow and sweet, when Armitage heard a throat being cleared behind him. “Hullo.” The voice was deep and warm and Armitage cursed himself for the flash of hope he felt as he turned from the railing. And there he was; the same man from a few minutes ago down in the atrium, holding out a large hand in offering. “I’m Ben.”

 

Manners overrode nerves and Armitage reached forward and shook his hand. “Armitage,” he answered.

 

Up close Armitage could see that Ben’s eyes were a dark brown and a few moles dotted his face and neck like a straying constellation. He wasn’t stereotypically beautiful but there was something about him that made Armitage not want to look away. It didn’t hurt that Armitage could see the way Ben’s shirt was straining around a muscular chest and arms.

 

“Look,” Ben spoke again, drawing Armitage’s gaze to his lips which were equally dangerous. “To be entirely forward, I would love to take you to dinner and get to know you better.”

 

Armitage felt his cheeks warm with a blush. “That _is_ forward of you.”

 

Ben chuckled as he shifted his weight, one hand running through his hair in what Armitage assumed was a nervous gesture. He got a brief glimpse of a large ear beneath the dark hair before Ben seemed to remember himself and pushed the hair back over his exposed ear. “This is a cruise for mingling, right? I don’t want to miss my chance by waiting too long to say something.”

 

Armitage was flattered, impressed by Ben’s courage, and comforted by the brief hint at insecurity Ben had shown about his ears, whether it had been intentional or not. However, Armitage knew there was no way he could let himself be wooed by a guy and not get found out, either through being seen together or his lack of progress with a bachelorette. “I don’t think that’s a good idea,” he forced the words out.

 

Ben’s smile wavered and then faded. His fingers were back in his hair. “I’m sorry if I assumed wrong. Uh, you’re not—?”

 

“That’s not the problem,” Armitage cut him off with a quick glance around to ensure no one else was nearby to overhear. On this level of the atrium they were still alone except for the pianist engrossed in her music. Armitage knew he should’ve just lied and said he wasn’t gay but the spark in his chest wouldn’t go away.

 

“Then what—?”

 

“I have to go.” Ben had begun to ask his question but out of the corner of his eye Armitage had spotted the platinum hair of Phasma entering the atrium behind her parents. Knowing he had to escape this situation before he did something stupid like accept Ben’s advances, Armitage took two steps backward and away from Ben. “Excuse me, sorry,” he said and then turned fully to flee down the stairs and into the crowd.

 

Phasma noticed him immediately as he came down the stairs and enveloped him into a warm, familiar hug. Armitage leaned into it, seeking some comfort in the hope that it would make his heart stop racing. Unfortunately Phasma was nothing if not perceptive and as they started to shuffle forward with the crowd she asked, “Who was that guy you were talking to and why did you ditch him for me? He seemed exactly your type.”

 

On instinct Armitage glanced up and froze when he found that Ben was still at the railing, their positions in the room switched but their locked gaze even more intense. There was a part of Armitage that truly wanted to say _fuck it_ , go back up the stairs and accept Ben’s proposal. However, at age twenty-five, Armitage knew by now that it wasn’t about what he _wanted_ ; it was about _survival_. The thought made him ache but it was enough of a reminder to force Armitage’s eyes away as they pushed through the crowd and out of sight. “I’ll tell you later.”

 

#

 

_Day Two_

 

Armitage woke up early, as he always did. He used the opportunity to visit the ship’s gym while it was still relatively empty, following his morning exercise routine from back home. Armitage had discovered the gym the previous evening when he and Phasma walked around the decks learning the layout of the ship, and though he had wanted to work out right then to burn off some excess energy from his encounter with Ben earlier in the day, every machine was already occupied. Now in the early morning hours only guests as restless as him and crew members setting tables for breakfast were awake and about.

 

It felt good to lift some weights and then run on the treadmill, to make his body work and sweat. A sense of claustrophobia encompassed Armitage’s daily life, bound as he was to his father’s will. Exercising meant that Armitage could at least do _something_ for himself, and Brendol could find no fault in him maintaining a healthy lifestyle. So Armitage ran the way he couldn’t run from anything else and relished in it, knowing he had at least two hours before Phasma woke up and wanted to get breakfast.

 

Only when Armitage’s legs began to tremble did he slow and eventually stop the treadmill. There were complimentary showers and locker rooms attached to the gym but Armitage’s room was only a few floors above the gym so he climbed a few flights of stairs and stripped off his sweaty clothes in his own shower. Once clean, Armitage looked out of his tiny porthole to see a clear sunny sky. Knowing it would get warmer throughout the day as they sailed south towards their first destination island, he dressed in comfortable beige slacks with a white shirt he could roll up the sleeves on when necessary.

 

Armitage knew Phasma would still be asleep but after the workout his body was beginning to clench with hunger and dehydration. He ripped off a sheet from the pad of paper on his desk, wrote a note for Phasma to meet him in the buffet when she woke up, and slid it under her door on his way to the buffet on the highest deck, number fourteen. The massive dining room surrounding the buffet aisles was still nearly empty and Armitage got a small table by the front window overlooking the ship’s bow.

 

Phasma joined him at the table a little while later when Armitage had finished his plate of eggs and had moved onto his bowl of fruit. They ate in relative silence, Armitage knowing after years of friendship that Phasma wasn’t a morning person. Instead he watched the open water ahead of them until Phasma started to rub sleep from her eyes and develop an interest in conversation. “Have you booked any excursions yet?”

 

“No,” Armitage answered. “My father said I should only book them to impress someone, not to indulge myself.” Phasma rolled her eyes but didn’t bother pointing out to Armitage for the millionth time how much of an asshole Brendol was. It was old news. “Have you booked any?”

 

“Not yet, but I plan to. Date or not,” Phasma informed him with a challenging smirk. “You should join me.”

“We’ll see,” Armitage answered and took a large sip of orange juice.

 

“Maybe we can find out which ones your mystery boy Ben is going on,” she suggested in a whisper. Armitage sent her a warning look and she sat back in her chair with a sigh. “Just a thought. Anyway, I have to spend today with my parents meeting some people. The price I have to pay for being left mostly alone for the rest of the trip. Do you have plans for the day?”

 

“I have to have dinner in the upper dining room with my father and Maratelle,” Armitage said, already dreading the thought. “Otherwise no. Maybe the library. And I think my father wants me to go to that _Welcome Aboard_ event in the Calypso Club tonight.”

 

“Mine too,” Phasma groaned. “Come to my room at 8pm and we’ll go together, and I’ll join you in the library if I escape my parents early.”

 

With plans set, they finished their breakfast and parted ways. Knowing the majority of the ship was still asleep or at breakfast, Armitage did in fact head in the direction of the library which was located on the eighth deck at the top balcony of the open atrium. He was lucky enough to get one of the armchairs in front of the window so that he could watch the ocean as the ship drifted by. Armitage sat low in the chair in the hope that his father wouldn’t see him if walking by – he doubted Brendol would be impressed with Armitage “wasting” his time reading – and started reading a book from the tablet he had grabbed from his room en route.

 

Armitage noticed the passing of time only due to the slow draining of his tablet’s battery and his slowly building hunger as the day edged into early afternoon. He decided he would read for another hour until the lunch rush passed and then leave to plug in his tablet to charge and find something to eat. Armitage was already halfway through his first book and enjoying having a few hours to relax and recharge. This wasn’t the vacation he would have chosen for himself, but it was still nice to be away from the tedious tasks of his job at his father’s company.

 

“Oh, thank fuck!”

 

Most of the other guests in the library angrily shushed the person’s sudden outburst, a few ladies playing bridge at a nearby table muttering darkly among themselves about ‘the language of youths’. Armitage looked up immediately as well, not because of the commotion but because that voice was more familiar than it had any right to be. Ben was already walking towards him, an anxious look on his face as he knelt down beside Armitage’s armchair.

 

“What is wrong with you?” Armitage hissed under his breath, yanking away his hand before Ben could grab it. “Didn’t anyone ever teach you to be _quiet_ in a library?”

 

“I’ve been wandering around lost and I was so relieved to see someone I recognized,” Ben explained, bottom lip red from being weathered anxiously between his teeth.

 

“You’re in the atrium,” Armitage pointed out. “Why didn’t you just go down to the main level and ask the front desk for directions?”

 

“There are at least twenty old people in line with questions about how their room cards work and I’m so hungry. I didn’t want to wait,” Ben said.

 

Someone nearby cleared their throat pointedly. Uncomfortable with the attention they were getting and realizing that Ben was genuinely lost, Armitage sighed and stood from the chair. Ben stood and followed him out of the library while Armitage powered down his tablet and slipped it into his messenger bag. Once they were out of the library and back onto one of the atrium’s balconies, Armitage crossed his arms. “Okay, where are you trying to go?”

 

“I _was_ trying to get to my room but while I was looking I started getting hungry and tried to find the buffet and then I got completely turned around,” Ben told him, leaning against the railing.

 

“Let me see your room card.” Ben dug it out of his pocket and handed it over. It took Armitage’s years of social training to keep his expression neutral when he saw Ben’s last name: _Organa-Solo_. Holy shit. Ben’s mother was Leia Organa, making Ben literal royalty when you looked close enough at the family trees. That family was about as high as you could get in terms of social circles. Trying to remain nonchalant, Armitage looked at Ben’s cabin number before casually handing it back. “All of the food is near the front of the ship and you have an aft cabin,” he concluded.

 

Ben’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion as he pocketed the card. “What does that mean?”

 

Despite the conflicting emotions swirling in his brain – lingering shock, attraction, unease at drawing attention – Armitage couldn’t stifle his small laugh. “It means you’ve been walking around in circles. The aft is at the back of the ship.”

 

“Oh.” Ben had his hand subconsciously toying with his hair, alternating between pushing it back and flattening it back down over his ears.

 

Realization dawned on Armitage that Ben cared enough about his opinion that he was feeling embarrassed. Taking pity on him, Armitage made an offer. “If you tell me where you want to go now I can point you in the right direction.” Ben’s cabin was actually relatively close to Armitage’s own except three floors up so he was certain he could provide adequate directions.

 

“Where are you going next?” Ben asked him in return.

 

Armitage’s eyes narrowed. “That’s not what I asked you.”

 

“You asked me where I want to go,” Ben reminded him, standing tall now and seemingly regaining some confidence. “Now that I’ve found you, I want to go with you.” Armitage didn’t know what to do. He was getting hungry but if he went to eat now Ben would insist on joining him. And if he went back to his cabin to plug in his tablet to charge, Ben would have an excuse to follow him because their rooms were in the same section of the ship. Before he could decide what to do, Ben took a step into his personal space until there were only inches between them. “Please, just give me a chance.”

 

Taking a hasty step back, Armitage sent him a glare. “You’re too close,” he hissed. As he looked around to ensure no one was paying them any attention, he saw a look of understanding cross over Ben’s face.

 

“I’m sorry,” Ben said and sounded genuine. “I get it.”

 

Armitage gave a tiny nod; a shared acknowledgement. “If I get you back to your room will you please give me some space?”

 

Ben didn’t look happy, but he agreed. “Okay.”

 

They started walking side by side down the hallway leaving the atrium and heading toward the back of the ship. On this floor while they walked they passed the casino and one of the small open theatre rooms used for ship events like trivia and art auctions throughout the voyage. They walked in silence, Armitage not knowing what to say and Ben probably wondering if he was even allowed to talk. The urge to start up conversation lapped at Armitage’s heels but he fought it down, not wanting to encourage Ben after rejecting him.

 

_It’s for the best_ , he told himself.

 

As they reached the largest staircase at the back end of the ship, they paused. “For future reference, you can walk this way on deck five. The gym is right behind this staircase so you’ll know you’re at the right one and then you can just go straight up the stairs.”

 

“There’s a gym?” Ben’s eyebrows rose towards his hairline. “How do you know all this?”

 

Armitage rolled his eyes and pulled the tiny fold-up ship map he had received on the first day from his pocket to hand to Ben. “I think you need this more than me. I just walked around the ship yesterday with my friend and used the gym this morning so I’m familiar with this part of the ship.”

 

“Is she the blond woman you went to hug yesterday?” Ben was clearly trying and failing to sound casual.

 

“Yes, her name’s Phasma,” Armitage said. “We’ve been friends for years.”

 

Ben looked thoughtful. “My cousin Rey is on board with us. I feel like they would get along.”

 

Not knowing if Ben was just trying to come up with an excuse to spend time with him again and wanting to get away before his resolve to avoid Ben completely broke down, Armitage took two steps towards the stairs. He needed to go one floor down whereas Ben needed to go two flights up. “Well, I should go.”

 

“Wait! What about getting me back to my room?” Ben stuck out his bottom lip slightly. It should’ve been obnoxious but instead it just made Armitage want to press their lips together.

 

Armitage put more space between himself and this tempting man, pausing at the top of the staircase. “The map is very self-explanatory.”

 

“Armitage, wait!”

 

“ _What_?” he turned on his heel, now two steps down the stairs.

 

“Are you going to the _Welcome Aboard_ event tonight?” Ben took a half-step towards Armitage and then thought better of it and remained where he was standing. They were lucky everyone else was probably at lunch and not walking in on this.

 

“I have to go,” Armitage answered honestly. No sense lying when he had no choice but to be there.

 

“I’ll be there too,” Ben said, “And if you want to, um… please come say hi.”

 

Ben sounded so sweet and unsure; it wasn’t fair. “I’ll think about it,” Armitage offered at last before forcing himself down the stairs and out of sight.

 

#

 

As 8pm approached, Armitage was developing a nasty headache. He had ordered room service for lunch to avoid running into Ben at the buffet and spent the afternoon in his room. Armitage’s thoughts had been spinning the whole time, trying to determine if there was a way he could spend time with Ben the way he wanted to. Ben’s family name certainly helped, and Armitage was starting to get a hopeful strategy that Brendol wouldn’t mind him spending so much time with another man if it was someone with so much social clout.

 

Still wrapped up in his strategizing, dinner had been an exhausting affair. Brendol had spent the first ten minutes of the meal in the dining room interrogating Armitage about what he had been spending his time doing and why he didn’t have any potential dates yet. The next ten minutes after that had Brendol reminding Armitage for the umpteenth time that his purpose was to strengthen the family name with a powerful, influential marriage, and that consequences awaited failure. The remainder of the meal after that had Brendol and Maratelle speaking together as if Armitage wasn’t there, though Armitage was still chastised if his posture or manners slipped for an instant.

 

Armitage was relieved for the dinner to be finished, but completely worn out. When Brendol reminded him to attend the event at the Calypso Club, Armitage said a grudging “yes father” and excused himself to his room to change. Now he was sitting on the end of his bed, dressed but only wanting to crawl into bed and sleep until the whole damn cruise was over. Phasma would kill him if he made her go alone though, so finally Armitage dragged himself to his feet and took something for his headache.

 

He eyed himself briefly in the mirror after swallowing the pill, remembering that Ben would be there tonight and wanted to see him. Armitage still hadn’t decided yet if it was worth the risk of accepting Ben’s advances – if he could spin a story that his father would accept – but he was willing to at least admit that he wanted Ben to give him that same appreciative look he had the day before. Armitage had chosen a pair of black jeans that hugged his ass, a white v-neck shirt and a muted bronze waistcoat sans tie. Once he was certain he looked acceptable, Armitage pocketed his key card which would act as his ID, credit card and room key, and left to knock on Phasma’s door.

 

She looked him over as soon as the door was open and then smirked. “You’ve decided to give him a chance, haven’t you?”

 

“I haven’t,” Armitage defended, but hesitated when she raised a sceptical eyebrow. “I haven’t decided,” he amended.

 

Phasma hummed and dragged him into the room to help her zip up her dress and then wait while she finished off her makeup. She was stunning and Armitage told her so, and finally they were leaving the room and heading towards the Calypso Club. On the walk they updated one another on their day, though Phasma seemed most interested in hearing more about his encounter with Ben. Armitage indulged her whenever other guests weren’t walking close enough to overhear, but tapered off as they approached the club.

 

Even from down the hall they could feel the vibration of the music and see bright colourful lights spilling out from the otherwise dark room. The cruise had a minimum age of twenty-one years old so Armitage wasn’t surprised when a waiter passed them champagne glasses as they walked in. The club was relatively busy and still filling up with people as the seconds passed. There were a few tables and booths lining the room’s edges with the majority of space dedicated to a wood dance floor.

 

Phasma and Armitage shuffled out of the entrance so that others could come in behind them. They sipped their champagne while looking for a place to sit and when the glasses were empty they went to the bar to order more alcohol. It was while they waited for their drinks that Phasma elbowed Armitage in the ribcage and spoke into his ear, “That’s him, isn’t it?”

 

Armitage looked across the room and sure enough, there was Ben. And he looked amazing. His hair was still loose and he wore dark jeans, an unbuttoned red long-sleeved shirt and a tight white t-shirt underneath that showed off his impressive physique. Armitage also noticed that Ben’s jeans were being held up by a studded black leather belt and he couldn’t stop the instant thought of what it would feel like to have Ben above him, binding his wrists in that leather.

 

“You should go talk to him!” Phasma suggested as quietly as she could manage considering the music, which wasn’t very quiet at all. Thankfully no one was paying attention to them. Armitage ducked his head, embarrassed by his own thoughts and grateful that it was too dark to see his blush.

 

Armitage wanted so badly to go over there, to see how Ben would react to his appearance and willingness to approach Ben for a change. He had held himself back from so many things over the years; he _wanted_ Ben. And yet he was scared of the risks. What if his father found out? What if Ben had changed his mind? What if Ben got tired of him? “I don’t know,” Armitage wavered and took a gulp of his drink.

 

Phasma grabbed his forearm and forced Armitage to look at her. “Armi, listen. He’s clearly into you and he specifically asked you to come up to him. And unless you’re planning to have sex right here on the floor, you can pass off any conversation with him as mingling – something you were sent here _specifically_ to do.”

 

He nearly choked on his drink when she mentioned sex on the floor but managed another big swallow of alcohol. Phasma’s words were all Armitage had needed to give himself permission – just this once – to take what he wanted. He was nodding. “Okay, yeah, I’ll go say hi,” he agreed, confidence building by the second. Armitage looked back towards the crowd but what he saw made him hang back, a bitter taste suddenly on his tongue.

 

Ben was no longer alone but instead surrounded by three other people. One was a woman several inches shorter than Ben, with brown hair tied up into a trio of buns and a beautiful caramel-coloured dress flaring out at her knees. The other two were men, dressed up in casual attire including the worn leather jacket one was wearing. The man with darker skin and short black hair was elbowing the girl in the ribs, the whole group laughing while the other man with tanned skin and swept back dark hair had an arm slung around Ben’s shoulders.

 

Armitage saw that Ben was quite clearly comfortable with the physical touch and closeness of the other man, and quickly knocked back the last of his drink. “Never mind.”

 

“Armitage.” Phasma knew how to say his name in a way that sounded like scolding. “I’m sure he still wants to see you.”

 

“I beg to differ,” Armitage turned away, not wanting Ben to see him and come over out of pity. “He seems perfectly happy and entertained with his present company. I was a fool to think I could act the way I did and still expect him to want me.”

 

“He could prove you wrong,” she pointed out. “Besides, we should still stay and enjoy the event.”

 

Armitage shook his head. The only reason he had come in the first place was a hope of seeing and talking to Ben. Now that hope was dashed, and his headache was becoming exponentially worse between the alcohol, emotions and noise. “I’m going back to my room to sleep.”

 

“I think you’re being ridiculous,” Phasma accused, arms crossed and standing firm.

 

“Noted,” Armitage said with a half-hearted shrug. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

 

In the end she let him go. Phasma knew him well enough to realize that Armitage was being serious and not just in need of some encouragement. She gave him a hug and then Armitage walked quickly to the exit, trying to stay out of sight among the crowd. He didn’t know what he would do now if Ben saw him and approached. Armitage knew he had been rude to Ben thus far and had no right to be jealous, and yet here he was, miffed at the attention Ben was giving to someone else. There was no one to blame but himself though, so Armitage quickly returned to his room, stripped to his underwear, and fell into bed alone with an unhappy, self-pitying groan.


	2. Day 3 and 4

_Day Three_

 

It was early in the morning and Armitage was back on the treadmill. He had woken up that morning to a note from Phasma shoved under his door saying she had had a few drinks and to not expect her until lunch. Armitage had no specific plans for the day so he decided to continue his normal routine and head down to the gym before the crowd. Thankfully sleeping early had gotten rid of his headache, and now jogging was helping him work through his lingering frustration from the previous day.

 

Of course, that only lasted until the subject of his frustration entered the gym and took the treadmill right next to the one Armitage was using. It simply wasn’t fair. Ben was dressed in running shoes, shorts and a t-shirt, but the shorts revealed the majority of Ben’s toned calves and thighs. Was this psychological warfare? Because it was horribly, wonderfully effective.

 

“What happened to giving me space?” Armitage demanded under his breath even though there was no one else near them.

 

Ben flashed him a look of innocent surprise which morphed quickly into an amused smile. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m just here to run.” As if to prove this, Ben put earphones in and started to listen to music on his phone.

 

Armitage licked his lips and forced his eyes forward. He suspected Ben had come here at least partially for him, but Armitage didn’t know what that meant when he saw Ben so close with that other man the previous night. Not wanting to look pathetic or needy, and still hesitant to open himself up to potential rejection, Armitage turned up the speed on his treadmill and ran a little faster. Twenty minutes later Armitage had to turn the machine slower and then off, his body trembling and his breathing laboured. He had already been running for fifteen minutes when Ben had arrived and in his stubbornness he had probably overdone it.

 

Armitage didn’t miss the fact that Ben turned off his machine at the same time as him and pulled out his earphones. “Time for breakfast?” he suggested cheerfully.

 

“I need to shower,” Armitage wheezed, still trying to catch his breath.

 

He placed his hands on his knees for stability and took a few deep breaths, ignoring the panicky feeling that he wasn’t getting enough oxygen. Armitage didn’t bother shrugging him off when Ben hesitantly touched his shoulder. “Hey, are you okay?”

 

“Yeah,” Armitage nodded and eventually stepped away from Ben’s touch. “I just pushed myself too hard.” As his breathing calmed down he took a cloth from the available bin to wipe down the machine and Ben did the same. Armitage’s legs were still shaking when he exited the gym and he didn’t have the energy to stop Ben from joining him as they climbed the stairs together, especially when he saw the look of genuine concern on Ben’s face. “Like I said, I’m going to my room to shower,” Armitage said when they reached deck seven.

 

“I need to shower too,” Ben responded, glancing briefly at the staircase he would need to continue to climb. “But after that I have no one to eat breakfast with.”

 

“What about—” Armitage cut himself off, realizing that if he mentioned the people from last night then Ben would know Armitage had seen them and left. “What about your cousin?” he finally said.

 

Ben laughed. “She and our friends drank way too much last night. And besides, I’d still really like to eat with you.” This declaration was paired with a warm smile. Armitage looked away and tried to fight the upward curl of his lips. “Are you smiling?” Ben fake gasped.

 

“No!” Armitage refuted immediately, but then his smile got wider. He couldn’t help it. It was so nice to feel wanted, and to know that he had put that smile on Ben’s face despite being so difficult.

 

Ben glanced around to ensure no one else was in the area and then leaned in slightly. “All I’m asking for is one meal where we can talk, even if you just tell me why I should leave you alone for good.”

 

Armitage’s heart was still fluttering from Ben’s confession that he wanted to spend time with him, and he _was_ hungry. Maybe if he actually gave Ben a chance to talk, an explanation would come out about that guy with his arm around Ben’s shoulders at the club. “I suppose if you happen to see me at the buffet and sit down at my table I can’t stop you.”

 

Ben grinned but didn’t lean any further into Armitage’s personal space. “Great, I’ll see you soon then.”

 

“Don’t take too long,” Armitage said, just for the satisfaction of seeing Ben race up the stairs to get to his room faster.

 

Armitage also walked to his room at a fast pace and showered in record time. He wanted to try to grab one of the few tables-for-two in the buffet dining room before the crowds arrived. If he was going to give Ben a chance to talk, Armitage didn’t want to feel like strangers were listening in and making one or both of them clam up. It would help that his father and Maratelle were not the buffet type and wouldn’t have a chance to see Armitage sitting with another man.

 

He didn’t see Ben when he arrived at the buffet and he joined the line alone; he was too hungry to wait. With a plate filled with eggs, sausage, toast and fruit, Armitage claimed one of the small tables by the window and started to eat. Before Armitage could even start to worry that Ben had changed his mind or had been playing a cruel joke, he saw Ben enter the room and wave at him before joining the buffet line for his own food.

 

Ben joined him a few minutes later and said immediately, “Now let me get some food in my stomach before you reject me again. Tell me something about yourself.”

 

Armitage knew the ploy Ben was playing but he kind of wanted Ben to get away with it so he answered. “I’ll be twenty-six next month. I read a lot and uh,” he struggled to think of something interesting he could tell Ben. “I like to draw.”

 

“What do you draw?” Ben asked through a mouthful of eggs.

 

“Portraits occasionally but mainly I like to illustrate books I’ve read,” Armitage said.

 

“Which are…?”

 

“Fantasy, mostly.” Armitage sipped the tea he had gotten from the drinks counter, trying to act casual. He didn’t share his drawings with many people. In fact, Phasma was the only person Armitage could remember actually showing some of his work.

 

He needn’t have worried. Ben’s eyes lit up with interested curiosity. “That’s really cool. Is that what you do for work too?”

 

Armitage scoffed. “Hardly. I’m forced to work for my father’s company, Hux Insurance. I handle some of the accounts.”

 

Ben’s nose scrunched up at the mention of the company name. “Don’t they have a reputation for denying every claim they can?” Ben asked and then seemed to catch himself. “Sorry, that’s rude.”

 

“Maybe, but it’s also true.” Armitage shrugged. He had no loyalty to his father’s company. In fact, if it burned to the ground he wouldn’t shed a single tear. “Hence ‘ _forced_ ’,” he referenced his previous words. Armitage recognized pity on Ben’s face and he didn’t like it so he changed the subject. “This exchange has been very unequal so far. Tell me something about you.”

 

“Oh,” Ben blinked and hummed in thought as he took a big bite of toast. “I’m twenty-seven and I’m finishing up a Masters in History. I’ve always been really interested in our family line and doing a Masters was the best way to get access to the university’s resources for research.” Ben didn’t clarify his family name and Armitage suspected there was an assumption that he had picked it up from the key card yesterday. “When I’m done I don’t know what I want to do with myself, honestly. Dad wants me to be a mechanic like him and mom wants me to go into politics like her but… I don’t know,” Ben shrugged. “I’ll find something. I also do a lot of kick boxing and jiu-jitsu.”

 

That would explain Ben’s physique. “Are you any good?”

 

Ben flashed him a smirk. “I could probably have you pinned pretty fast.” The mental image of Ben’s body weight holding him flat on the floor came to Armitage’s brain too fast to fight off and he blushed with the rush of heat he felt. Ben seemed to realize then what he had said and chuckled nervously. “So uh, I have to ask. Do you really want me to leave you alone?”

 

“I didn’t say that, exactly,” Armitage mumbled, eyes on his plate as he cut up his last sausage. “I said it wouldn’t be a good idea.”

 

“And why is that?” Ben asked him.

 

There was no way around this, and Ben had been sweet and persistent enough that Armitage felt he at least deserved the truth. Nerves ruining the rest of his appetite, Armitage pushed around his last few pieces of breakfast with a fork when he answered. “My father wants me to announce an engagement to someone influential at the farewell banquet on the last night of this cruise.”

 

Much to Armitage’s surprise, Ben laughed. “Well I must say that the offer is fast but I’m honoured!” Ben crowed as if Armitage had just proposed. Armitage’s jaw clenched as his heart began to ache, his eyes downcast. Ben’s laughter quickly tapered off. “Wait, are you serious?” Armitage nodded solemnly. “What, is he trying to marry you off like some Victorian lady for the biggest dowry he can acquire?”

 

“That’s exactly what he’s trying to do,” Armitage whispered and started to stand from his chair. He couldn’t take anymore misery right now. “I should go.”

 

“No, no, please don’t go!” Ben grabbed his hand, which Armitage shook off. Physical comfort was exactly what he wanted in this moment but the dining room was filling up with too many people. Armitage was feeling trapped and yet he didn’t want to leave Ben so he wavered, immobile as he stood by the table. Seemingly realizing the problem of the growing crowd, Ben stood up too and said quietly, “I know somewhere private we can talk.”

 

Armitage weathered his bottom lip between his teeth in a moment of indecision before he nodded in agreement. They placed their plates in a bin by the door on their way out and then they walked out onto the sun deck at a shared quick pace. The sun had risen but was still close to the horizon and the breeze was strong so Armitage shivered as the fresh air hit his bare arms. He took comfort in the way Ben briefly brushed a hand along his arm, so casual a movement that anyone who saw would think the touch had been accidental.

 

It took a few solid minutes of walking before they reached the rear of the ship. Ben led them up another set of stairs to an upper sun deck where Ben had to scan his key card for a locked gate to open. Beyond that and out of sight behind a wall, Armitage saw three large cabanas made of steel poles for the frames and thick white canvas for walls and a ceiling that could be adjusted as the user pleased depending on if they wanted shade or sun. All three of them were unoccupied and Ben walked to the farthest one to begin tying the canvas in place to create walls on three sides of the structure, leaving only the back “wall” open for a view of the back railing of the ship and the ocean they had sailed through.

 

“This came as part of the package my parents purchased for the cruise,” Ben explained as Armitage slowly stepped forward to join him in the cabana. “We own it for the entire two weeks. None of them will be up here this early though and we’ll hear the gate beep if anyone else comes in. Is this private enough?”

 

“Yes, thank you,” Armitage said, touched by Ben’s willingness to go out of his way to make Armitage feel comfortable. All of the furniture was wicker painted white with plush cushions; two armchairs and a loveseat inside the cabana and a hammock swaying gently in the breeze just outside the cabana’s entrance. Feeling safely alone for the first time on board, Armitage sat on the loveseat and was silently pleased when Ben sat beside him instead of taking one of the armchairs. He could feel the heat of Ben’s body radiating against him despite the few inches of space between them. “I know I’ve been difficult.”

 

Ben rested his arm across the back of the loveseat, close but not touching. Armitage wanted to lean back against it but resisted. “It’s okay. Your father sounds like an asshole. And he shouldn’t even complain because _you_ caught _my_ eye. You haven’t had much choice in the matter thus far.”

 

“He _is_ an asshole,” Armitage admitted readily, and forced himself to be honest about the rest of his thoughts. “I can’t say I’ve disliked your attention. But I’m already going to be in trouble at the end of the cruise when I don’t have an engagement to announce – which I won’t because I can’t stomach marrying someone I don’t love. And if my father found out I was spending all my time with another man… I can’t even imagine what he would do.”

 

“Can’t you just… move out on your own?” Ben suggested hesitantly. “After the cruise, I mean.”

 

“I’m not allowed to work anywhere but the company and all the money I make gets funnelled back into the family,” Armitage explained. “I don’t have access to any money. If I ran away I’d be homeless. You need an address to apply for a job, and likely a car too, and I couldn’t afford either. I’m trapped.” Saying the words aloud made him feel heavy and he sighed.

 

For a minute Ben didn’t say anything, and Armitage watched the wake of the ship in the waves beyond the railing. He turned back when Ben spoke up. “I have a plan, if you’re interested.”

 

“I’m listening.”

 

“Your parents can’t find out that you’re gay, and my parents don’t know either – though I think my mom suspects. Anyway,” Ben continued, “what if we spend time together under the ruse of double dates?”

 

“Double dates with who?” Armitage wondered.

 

“You with my cousin, Rey, and me with your friend Phasma,” Ben said. “Do you think your friend would be willing to go along with that?”

 

Phasma was more social than Armitage was, and he knew she wanted to see him happy with someone if possible. “I think so. What would your cousin say though?”

 

He saw Ben blush with a sheepish look. “I kind of already told her about you and she wants to play matchmaker. And Rey is a Skywalker, which is a pretty influential family, so your father would probably be pleased knowing you were spending time with her, right?” Armitage nodded, feeling hope slowly but surely bubble up inside him. “So, what do you think?”

 

Armitage could see the hope on Ben’s face too. He wanted to accept, to give in and see where this took them, but there was one last thing he was worried about. “I just need to clarify one thing. Last night at the club—”

 

“So you _were_ there!” Ben exclaimed. “I thought I saw your hair! Why didn’t you come over?”

 

“It looked like you had plenty of company already,” Armitage pointed out quietly.

 

Ben was frowning until he got a sudden look of surprise. “Wait, are you jealous?”

 

“Just answer the question!” Armitage huffed, unaccustomed to feeling this nervous.

 

“You didn’t ask me a question,” Ben reminded him. He was smiling though; glowing, in fact. “But to clarify, I’m assuming you saw me with Poe. Wavy hair, leather jacket?” Armitage gave a stiff nod and Ben continued. “He’s a family friend from when we were young. I had no idea he was on board since we haven’t been in touch lately, but when he saw us he came over to say hi to me and Rey, and to introduce his boyfriend Finn.”

 

Now Armitage felt petty and foolish. “Oh.”

 

Ben took it in stride and didn’t look upset. “I swear, Armitage, since I saw you I haven’t been thinking about anyone else.” When Ben’s fingers hesitantly caressed his shoulder, Armitage didn’t pull away. “And I’d really like to get to know you better so let’s make sure Phasma is on board and then sign up for a bunch of excursions. We’ll give your father what he thinks he wants and, more importantly, get some time together to see what happens.”

 

Thus far, despite being forward and determined, Ben had been respectful, supportive and warm. Not to mention the fact that he was attractive, funny and easy to be around. Here in this cabana was the first time in a long time Armitage felt like he could be himself around someone other than Phasma. Armitage still worried about what would happen when the cruise ended – if this would just be a lovely fairy tale that would make him ache all the more when it was over – but he knew he was unwilling to let this opportunity pass to get to know Ben and actually _enjoy_ the cruise.

 

So with a warm, genuine smile, Armitage said, “I accept.”

 

#

 

 

 

 

_Day Four_

 

Armitage sat squeezed against the inner hull of the lifeboat they were taking from the ship to the pier for their excursion on one of the Bahamas beaches. Ben was pressed tightly against Armitage’s side, which gave him less to complain about. Phasma was beside Ben and Rey, Finn and Poe sat across from them on a bench so close that all of their feet were interlaced. Armitage understood that in an emergency situation the crew wanted to fit as many people on each lifeboat as possible but when they were just getting a tender to shore it was an uncomfortable ride.

 

Thankfully it only took five minutes of the lifeboat bobbing on the water before there was a dull thud and they were clamouring out onto the pier one by one. Ben had introduced Armitage and Phasma to Rey, Finn and Poe the previous afternoon and both Rey and Phasma were shockingly willing to help with the double date ruse. The whole group of six had agreed to sign up for a bunch of excursions throughout the trip. For this one they had bought day passes to one of the island’s biggest resorts to use their beaches and facilities until they returned to the ship in the afternoon.

 

It took them ten minutes of walking along the sandy beach to get from the pier to the cabana they had rented as a group. Along the way Finn and Poe took the lead with entwined hands, chatting excitedly about how they wanted to spend the day. Seeing this, Armitage felt a blend of jealousy and shame. He wanted to hold Ben’s hand like that and he didn’t think Ben would refuse him; it was Armitage’s own self-consciousness about how strangers might look at them that made him hesitate. Ben sent him a few glances and walked close enough that their arms occasionally brushed against one another, but he didn’t force anything and for that Armitage was grateful.

 

Once they reached the cabana everyone claimed a lounge chair and set down their bags. They didn’t need their wallets since their key cards acted as their ID and credit cards for the day on the beach, but they had brought towels, sunscreen, sunglasses and their phones to take some pictures. Finn and Poe quickly left, saying they were going to sign up the group for a time slot to use the nearby volleyball net before the crowds arrived, and Rey and Phasma dragged their chairs from beneath the cabana’s shade into the morning sun.

 

After setting down his bag, Ben grabbed the bottom of his plain gray t-shirt and pulled it over his head. Armitage felt his mouth go dry at the sight of so much skin, Ben’s broad chest and toned stomach on display for him. Ben caught him staring and winked before shimmying out of his pants to reveal his swim shorts with far more hip swaying than was necessary. Armitage didn’t hide the way his eyes explored everything he could see even as Ben stepped closer to him and said, “Your turn.”

 

Encouraged by Ben’s look of open desire, Armitage removed his own shirt and pants until he was standing only in his swim shorts. Armitage knew he didn’t have the muscle mass Ben had; he was a runner more than anything else and he was strong but lean. However, he could tell Ben liked what he saw and it gave Armitage the courage to hold out the sunscreen bottle to him in offering. “Care to help me out?”

 

“Gladly,” Ben said and took the bottle before sitting Armitage down in one of the chairs.

 

Armitage spread sunscreen over his face, legs, arms, stomach and the tops of his feet while Ben focused on his shoulders and back where it was hard to reach. After a few minutes Armitage was certain he was covered adequately but Ben had started digging his thumbs into tight muscles in his upper back and he closed his eyes with a groan.

 

“Keep it together,” Phasma called back at him with a teasing laugh.

 

“Piss off,” Armitage answered, not even bothering to open his eyes.

 

Her laugh got louder, paired with Rey joining in. Phasma spoke again though this time clearly speaking directly to Ben. “Don’t hurt yourself. He’ll need more sunscreen every thirty minutes unless you’re attracted to people with lobster-red skin.”

 

“I assure you I’m enjoying myself immensely,” Ben informed her cheerfully.

 

“I bet you are!” Rey chimed in and the two women broke down into more laughter.

 

“I am,” Ben said, though he whispered this against Armitage’s loose hair and continued to knead away knots in Armitage’s upper back.

 

Armitage could’ve sat there all day with Ben’s hands on him, especially while Phasma and Rey were talking amongst themselves in the sun and Finn and Poe were away signing up for the volleyball net. He wanted things to be fair though, and wanted to get his hands on Ben in return, so eventually he stood up out of Ben’s reach and grabbed the sunscreen bottle. “Your turn.”

 

Ben didn’t object and sat down, both of them covering his skin with sunscreen. Armitage took the liberty of skimming his hands over Ben’s shoulders and down his arms, feeling his firm biceps before trailing back up to massage his upper body. Ben let out a little moan and leaned his head back against Armitage’s stomach and Armitage had to will away the start of an erection.

 

“You sound indecent, Ben,” Poe joked when he and Finn returned to the cabana a few minutes later.

 

Ben groaned and didn’t move. “Don’t care.”

 

“Did you book the volleyball net?” Rey wondered aloud.

 

“The first available time slot we could get was in an hour from now,” Finn said. “While we wait, Poe and I are going swimming if you all want to join us.”

 

“Yeah, let’s go!” Rey stood from her chair and pumped a fist into the air.

 

Armitage saw that Phasma was standing up as well and he removed his hands from Ben’s skin despite his immediate verbal protest. “Do you want to join them?”

 

“I’d love to, as long as you’re comfortable swimming in the ocean,” Ben said and stood up.

 

Armitage nodded so they packed away the sunscreen and jogged down the beach to catch up with the rest of the group who were already knee deep in the water. He could feel the heat of the rising sun on his back but the chill of the ocean counterbalanced it nicely as he slowly waded out with Ben at his side. Armitage was a strong swimmer and although he was cautious of an undertow, he wasn’t nervous at all and quickly pulled ahead of Ben who seemed to be struggling to adjust to the water’s chill.

 

Armitage continued forward until his toes barely brushed the sandy bottom and he was past the point where the waves would break over his head. That was where Phasma was treading water, rising and falling lazily with the swelling waves before they broke and crashed over the sand closer to shore. He could see that Rey and Finn were further out, rising and falling on one wave swell earlier than theirs. Poe was near them but facing the beach. “Ben, what’s taking so long? Getting old?” he shouted out.

 

Ben, who had floated close enough that Armitage could feel the water currents Ben was creating with his hands and feet against his skin, glanced over at Armitage. Which was very sweet because he didn’t need to; he and Armitage had just met whereas this was his childhood friend and cousin. “It’s okay, I’ll be here when you get back,” Armitage reassured him. Ben eyed him for a moment longer, perhaps gauging if Armitage was being honest, and then finally nodded and swam further out towards the others.

 

“You could’ve gone with him, you know,” Phasma eyed him as they tread water. She wasn’t a bad swimmer but Armitage knew from years of friendship that deep water made her nervous.

 

“I know,” Armitage said. “But I want to spend time on this cruise with you as well. And I don’t want to be so obsessive that I forget about everything but him.”

 

“You really like him, don’t you?” Phasma asked. She was giving him a very knowing smile.

 

Armitage shrugged as much as possible while still treading water. “I like the way I feel when I’m with him, like other people’s opinions don’t matter and I can just be myself and happy. But I don’t know him that well yet, and who knows what will happen when the cruise ends.”

 

“Well I’m glad you two came up with this ruse so that I met Rey,” Phasma confessed, lowering her voice so that it didn’t carry over the water’s surface.

 

“Oh yeah?” Armitage raised an eyebrow and smirked. “You like her?”

 

“She’s a firecracker, that’s for sure,” Phasma said with a wistful-sounding voice.

 

“I hope it works out for all of us,” Armitage said, happy for his friend as well as for himself.

 

He and Phasma continued to chat while the other four swam around in the waves further out. Mostly they talked about what they had done on the cruise so far while apart, and what other shore excursions they were looking forward to or wanted to sign up for. To continue the double date ruse Armitage, Ben, Phasma and Rey had signed up for a dolphin swim adventure on day six, but after that they needed to figure out what else to sign up for.

 

They didn’t have a watch to tell the time but eventually the waves and undertow started to get stronger as the tides shifted. Armitage and Phasma agreed to head back to shore and shortly thereafter the others left the ocean to join them. Everyone relaxed in their lounge chairs, everyone in the sun except Armitage who settled his chair at the edge of the shade from the cabana. He was pleased when Ben positioned his chair next to Armitage’s and lazily brushed his fingers along the length of Armitage’s forearm while the group chatted or relaxed in silence.

 

An alarm went off from Poe’s phone when it was time for them to claim the volleyball net. Everyone placed their valuables in Rey’s bag to bring with them and left the remaining towels and sunscreen bottles scattered around the cabana. The volleyball net was just a short distance down the beach from where their cabana was located and it was likely that someone in their group would see if strangers were approaching their cabana and going through their stuff, but it was better to be safe with their phones and key cards.

 

The group squared off – Armitage, Ben and Phasma on one team and Poe, Finn and Rey on the opposite side of the net. Ben and Poe did rock-paper-scissors to determine who served first and Ben won so he took the ball to their side of the court and quickly hit it across the net. Armitage didn’t play volleyball often and it was a new experience dashing and dodging around in the hot sand, but he was in shape and competitive so he gave it his all. It helped that he, Ben and Phasma were the three tallest in the group which gave them a distinct edge over the others. Everyone seemed to be feeling just as competitive as him though, taking the game seriously without going over the line with their taunts and cheers depending on which way the game was swinging.

 

The first match took a long time to finish, both sides relatively equally matched and determined to win. In the end, Finn, Poe and Rey won the first game by one point. Through the netting Armitage watched as Poe raced forward and gave his boyfriend a massive bear hug despite the building heat of the day, kissing him quickly on the forehead and then lips. “Great job, babe!” he cheered in response to Finn getting their winning point.

 

Subtly Armitage glanced around and saw that regardless of how busy the beach around them was, no one seemed to care or even notice the display of affection between the two men. Realizing this, Armitage got a little boost of confidence about showing and receiving affection with Ben in public; maybe he didn’t need to worry so much or withdraw like he had been thus far – as long as his family wasn’t around, of course.

 

They still had the volleyball net for another thirty minutes so they kept playing and Armitage’s team won the second game thanks to an amazing serve from Ben that the other team couldn’t return. With nervous butterflies in his stomach, Armitage walked towards Ben and gave his hand a squeeze while muttering “Great serve.” It wasn’t very romantic, both of them coated with sweat and sunscreen and sand, but Ben immediately brightened and used their joined hands to pull Armitage into a big hug. Someone whistled but Armitage couldn’t tell who because when he disentangled himself from Ben’s arms he saw that all four of their group members were smiling at them.

 

In their final fifteen minutes with the net they played one last match for a tie-breaker. In the end Armitage’s team lost but it had been a good match and when they were finished everyone was too hungry and thirsty to be upset with the results. Rey, accompanied by Phasma, returned the volleyball and net to the resort building at the back of the beach for the next resort guests to sign out. They caught up with the rest of the group at the cabana where everyone slathered on more sunscreen, packed up their belongings and slid into their sandy shoes.

 

Poe and Finn led the way off the beach and deeper into the resort grounds, map held between them as they tried to identify where the food building was. Phasma walked with Rey behind them, Rey excitedly telling her about the car engines she had started to help Ben’s father – Han – with in his garage. Armitage and Ben were last in the line trailing behind the others. While Armitage dissected the last few plays of their game and what he would do differently if they played again, Ben carefully settled his hand against Armitage’s lower back. Armitage stiffened for a moment and Ben withdrew, but after a cursory glance around, Armitage took Ben’s hand and led it back in place and pointedly continued his review of their game play. Ben’s hand hovered against his skin for the rest of their walk to their chosen restaurant, his eyes warm as he joined in on Armitage’s volleyball analysis.

 

The restaurant they found was on a balcony overlooking the boundary of palm trees surrounding the resort, and the beach and ocean beyond it. Over food and drinks they chatted about what they wanted to do for the rest of the cruise, and life beyond the cruise. As alcohol flowed, funny and embarrassing childhood stories started to emerge and the laughter from their table grew louder.

 

Armitage’s favourite story was the one Rey told about Ben stealing one of the cars from Han’s garage for a temporary joyride through country roads only for the engine to give out. Ben had called Rey in a panic, both at being stranded and in fear of getting in trouble, and she had ridden out on her bicycle with her tool bag to fix the car on the side of the road. In return, Ben had driven her wherever she needed to go until she got her license two years after him.

 

“But if you had a license, why didn’t you just ask your dad to borrow one of the cars?” Armitage asked through his laughter. He kept imagining Ben on the side of the road in the grunge outfit Rey had described, and young Rey riding up to rescue him on a bicycle, and he was struggling to stop chuckling.

 

Ben had a wry smile, though he was staring at his hands in his lap. “Let’s just say I have a problem with authority sometimes.”

 

“Sometimes?” Poe snorted. Ben sent him an annoyed look. “Sorry buddy, but I’ve never seen you not get riled up by authority – especially when you think they’re trying to control you.”

 

“That’s what the kickboxing and jiu-jitsu is for,” Ben mumbled mostly to himself, head hung low with what Armitage realized was shame. “I’ve gotten better.”

 

“As if you’re one to talk, Poe,” Rey redirected the table’s attention. “What about that time you stole and painted over the school’s flag because you thought the food served in the cafeteria was ‘cruel and unusual’?”

 

“It was!” Poe defended, and the table erupted into more laughter.

 

Armitage was only paying attention to Ben though and he hesitantly rested a hand on Ben’s forearm below the table. He could feel how tense Ben was. Ben closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths. When he opened them again Ben looked calmer and his body had somewhat relaxed. “I’m sorry,” Ben whispered while giving him a sideways glance.

 

“It’s okay,” Armitage assured him with a returned whisper and squeezed his arm before letting go.

 

A few more stories were passed around but everyone was full and ready to head back to the beach. They ordered another round of drinks to go, paid for their meals, and walked back to the cabana. The rest of the afternoon passed slowly but comfortably as they relaxed on the beach. Armitage wanted to ask Ben more about earlier but he wasn’t sure if Ben would answer him, _especially_ in front of the group, so he held back. Instead he alternated the position of his chair between the sun and shade but always nearest to Ben. He had ten more days on this cruise to get to know Ben and for them to hopefully grow closer but for now Armitage would just enjoy the close presence of Ben and the group in the afternoon sun.


	3. Day 5 and 6

_Day Five_

 

It was 4pm when there was a knock at his door, which confused Armitage because he wasn’t expecting anyone. Armitage had an hour before he was supposed to meet his father and Maratelle in the dining room for dinner and he had been sketching in the pad he brought with him. However, when the knocking didn’t stop he pulled himself off the bed to open the cabin door.

 

To his surprise, Ben was standing in the hallway looking very dressed up. “Good evening,” he greeted.

 

“How did you know my cabin number?” Armitage asked in response.

 

Ben smiled shyly, perhaps wondering if he had accidentally overstepped boundaries. “You gave me your ship map on the second day when I was lost.” Of course. The ship maps they gave to guests on the first day of the cruise listed their personal cabin number on the corner. “Can I come in?”

 

Armitage raised an eyebrow. “I don’t know, can you?”

 

Ben rolled his eyes and laughed. “ _May_ I come in?”

 

“You may.” Armitage took a few steps backward into his room so that Ben could enter and close the door behind him. Armitage took the opportunity to look Ben over, appreciating the sight of him in a suit rather than jeans even though he looked good in both. Ben was wearing a black suit that had clearly been tailored to fit his broad shoulders and muscular limbs. He also had black dress shoes, a white button-up, and a red tie. “What’s the occasion?”

 

Ben looked down at himself and then back up, hands clasped in front of him. “I am here to invite you to join me for dinner in the Florentine Steakhouse and then the theatre show on board,” Ben explained. “The dinner reservation is for 5pm and the show starts at 7:30pm.”

 

Armitage looked at the clock on his room’s desk. “You came an entire hour early before dinner?” he raised a teasing eyebrow. “What were you expecting to happen in here?”

 

Ben blushed a vibrant red in his cheeks and the tips of his ears. “While I wouldn’t turn down _anything_ you suggested,” Ben tried and failed to stop a smirk, “I came early because I assumed my plan would require at least some convincing to work.”

 

Armitage had wanted to go see the theatre show already and Ben getting them a reservation at the most exclusive speciality restaurant on board was impressive. Unfortunately, it wasn’t up to him. “I would love to but I’m afraid I can’t,” Armitage said sadly. “I’m supposed to eat dinner with my father and Maratelle, my step-mother.”

 

“Then we shall skip right ahead to the part of the plan where I convince them to let you join me,” Ben said.

 

“You’re determined, aren’t you?” Armitage ran his fingers through his hair, anxious at the mere thought of Brendol and Ben meeting in any way, shape or form. “He’s probably going to say no just to put me in my place.”

 

He saw the way Ben’s expression darkened and remembered too late about Ben’s issues with controlling authority. However, after a deep breath Ben calmed and regained his upbeat energy. “I wouldn’t forgive myself if I didn’t try and besides, I learned a lot from my mother over the years. I think I know which strings to pull to make him agree.”

 

The fact that Ben wasn’t willing to back down from a challenge – even from a man like Brendol – was a huge turn-on for Armitage and he decided he couldn’t say no. “Alright. Let me change though. He’d skin me alive if I walked around the ship in my lounge clothes.” Not that his pyjama pants and t-shirt were ratty, but Brendol believed that appearance was everything. “You can sit on the bed; I won’t take too long.”

 

“Want help undressing?” Ben offered with a hand brushing Armitage’s hip as he passed.

 

Armitage had to bite his lip to swallow the immediate ‘ _yes_ ’ that wanted to escape. In bed alone last night Armitage had let himself get swept up imagining what it would be like for Ben to strip him bare and taste every inch of him and it had been one of his best orgasms in a long time. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to have sex with Ben. He was just worried that Ben would get tired of him afterwards. Besides, they would be very late for dinner if they started anything now. “Maybe later.” Ben looked back at him with happy surprise but didn’t demand more and Armitage stepped out of sight into his cabin’s alcove to pick a suit from his closet.

 

There wasn’t a lot of room to move around but Armitage stripped off his pants and shirt and dropped them on the floor in Ben’s line of sight just to be a tease. Then he pulled on socks and the slacks for the light gray suit he had chosen. Just as he slipped his arms into his pale blue button-up shirt he heard Ben’s voice. “Hey, Armi? Wait, can I call you Armi?”

 

Armitage peered past the alcove wall to look at Ben sitting on the end of his bed. “Only in private or the company of friends,” he offered. It was the same rule Phasma had to follow. “And what is it?”

 

Ben was staring at him or, more accurately, at his bare chest. After a moment Ben cleared his throat and looked down at the closed sketchpad Armitage had accidentally left on top of his bed. “Do you mind if I look at some of your drawings?”

 

Armitage appreciated that Ben asked for permission first though that didn’t stop the flutter of nerves in his stomach. Phasma always told him that he worried too much about showing his art to other people, and that the drawings were actually quite good. Armitage was just so accustomed to hiding his sketchpad from view in his locked desk or briefcase so that Brendol or Maratelle wouldn’t find it – or someone else at work wouldn’t grab it and give it to Brendol for brownie points – that the idea of willingly sharing his work caused a flare up of anxiety.

 

Ben was being respectful though, and he had been supportive and understanding thus far. Plus, as Armitage’s attraction for Ben grew by the day, he truly wanted to share his art with Ben and see what Ben thought. Armitage’s drawings were a huge part of himself; they kept him sane and happy despite living under his father’s rule. Armitage didn’t think he could have a meaningful, genuine relationship with someone who didn’t know or care about his art.

 

“Go ahead,” Armitage said, trying to keep his tone casual to not betray how nervous he was, or how important this was to him. To distract himself, Armitage ducked back into the alcove and continued to dress. As he did up the buttons of his shirt and threaded his dark gray tie under the collar, he listened intently but didn’t hear any noise or comments from Ben. Becoming increasingly anxious, Armitage quickly tied his tie and slid on his suit jacket which was the same light gray as his slacks, and reappeared. “So, what do you think?”

 

Ben lifted his head from the sketchbook and looked Armitage over, expression almost looking awed. “Stunning.”

 

Armitage rolled his eyes even as he smiled. “Thank you, but I meant the art.”

 

“Same answer,” Ben said and turned back to the drawing in front of him. Armitage saw that Ben had only gotten a few drawings in and had not simply been skimming through them. “They really are amazing. You could easily find a job illustrating books if you wanted.”

 

“The issue isn’t whether I want it,” Armitage sighed and turned to the mirror to comb his hair into place.

 

“Sorry, but you know what I mean.” Out of the corner of his eye, Armitage saw Ben flip to the next page in the sketchbook and study it. “So your father has no idea you’re this good?”

 

“He has no idea I draw, period,” Armitage clarified. “He considers art a hobby unbefitting for a man.” Ben scoffed but said nothing else and Armitage finished up his grooming in the mirror. “I’m ready,” he announced a few minutes later.

 

Ben gently closed the sketchbook and stood from the bed. “Can I look at the rest later?”

 

Armitage crossed his arms. “Can you?”

 

“Oh god,” Ben groaned. “ _May_ I?”

 

With a laugh, Armitage nodded. “You may. But for now are you sure you want to deal with my father?”

 

“If it means a private dinner with you, absolutely.” As Ben said this he offered his arm with a flourish.

 

Enjoying how light he was feeling in Ben’s presence, Armitage accepted Ben’s arm and let himself be walked out into the hallway. However, once they were outside his cabin where someone might see them, Armitage carefully slid his arm free of Ben’s grasp. He caught Ben’s frown and felt a sudden fear curl in his gut. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.

 

Ben’s frown deepened as he caught Armitage’s gaze. “For what?”

 

Armitage rubbed the back of his neck, glancing both directions down the hall to confirm it was empty. “For always pulling away in public. I know it’s really annoying and you’ll probably get tired of me and decide it’s not worth the trouble and—”

 

“Armitage,” Ben cut him off, both with his voice and by crowding Armitage against the wall with his proximity. “I’m not going to get tired of you, and you’re worth it. Of course I’d love to touch and hold you in public but this is your situation right now and you have a shit family; I accept that. You don’t have to be ‘out’ for me to enjoy being with you.” Ben softly rested a hand on his shoulder. “I like _you_. So don’t apologize for circumstance; just be yourself.”

 

Armitage couldn’t remember the last time he had cried but now he felt the familiar sting of tears at the corners of his eyes. “Thank you,” he murmured and pulled Ben into a tight hug, uncaring in that moment of anyone who might walk down the hall. Ben returned the hug and held Armitage closer, cocooning him in soothing warmth. When tucking his face against Ben’s neck, Armitage could smell his shampoo and after a long minute Armitage relaxed.

 

They parted slowly, neither of them wanting to lose the physical contact, but they were running out of time and had to leave. Together they walked up the stairs to deck twelve and towards mid-ship where Brendol and Maratelle’s suite was located. “Leave it to me,” Ben insisted as they stood side by side in front of the door and Ben knocked.

 

They heard footsteps approaching and then Brendol opened the door. He looked between Armitage and Ben with slightly narrowed eyes as he greeted them. “Good evening, Armitage. Who is this?”

 

“Benjamin Organa-Solo, sir, and I am pleased to finally meet you,” Ben introduced himself with an outstretched hand. They shook hands and it looked like Ben didn’t back away from Brendol’s tight handshake. In fact, Armitage noticed Brendol subtly massaging his hand after the handshake ended. “Your son has been telling me great things about what your company has been accomplishing. Whenever he’s not busy courting my cousin, Rey Skywalker, of course,” Ben sent Armitage a sly, sidelong smirk.

 

Armitage knew Brendol’s ticks well enough to catch the slight widening of his eyes at the double name-drop. “Well it _is_ a pleasure to meet you, Benjamin,” Brendol said smoothly. Brendol calling Ben by his first name was an intentional attempt to establish dominance in the conversation but Ben appeared unfazed. “Our family is quite impressed by the work of your mother and your uncle.” Armitage dutifully swallowed his snort of disbelief. “Is there a particular reason for your visit this evening?”

 

“As a matter of fact, yes,” Ben smiled warmly. Armitage thought to himself that if Ben decided to go into politics, he would do quite well. “I was already planning to invite Armitage to dinner during the cruise so we could discuss a potential business partnership between our families. Tonight, unfortunately my date developed a bad migraine and she needs to rest. However, I’m of the belief that every opportunity should be seized so I invited Armitage to join me at the Florentine Steakhouse and I wanted your permission to steal his company for the evening.”

 

Brendol was looking very pleased with the situation as if he was responsible for the whole plan. “Please, steal away. I will look forward to hearing the results of your ongoing discussions.”

 

“Thank you, sir,” Ben bowed, still playing his role well. “I believe by the end of this cruise we will have come to a very satisfactory arrangement.”

 

Brendol waved them off and closed the door. Two minutes later they were walking down the hallway towards the staircase, Armitage with a hand over his mouth to muffle his laughter. “I can’t believe you,” he chuckled breathlessly.

 

Ben flashed him a grin. “I wasn’t even lying about that last part.”

 

Armitage elbowed him in the ribs but was still in a good mood as they took the stairs down to deck six where the restaurant was located to be on time for their reservation. Truthfully Armitage was overjoyed. Ben had saved him from a gruelling evening with his father and Maratelle _and_ instead of that, Armitage got to spend the entire evening with Ben. Between that, watching Ben talk circles around his father, and Ben’s encouraging pep-talk outside Armitage’s cabin, a part of Armitage just wanted to skip dinner and take Ben back to his room for that help with undressing.

 

Nonetheless, as they were led to their seats at a secluded table near the back of the restaurant, Armitage was excited. They split a bottle of wine and both ordered the steak since it seemed silly to eat something else when at a steakhouse. Over dinner they shared a lot more about themselves. Armitage talked a lot about his drawing and about his years at university where he met Phasma. In exchange, Ben confessed more details about his anger issues as a child, mainly due to a feeling that his family was trying to force him to be something other than himself, and how physical activity became his outlet.

 

When Armitage had first met Ben he had felt the dark-haired man came on a bit strong and was too insensitive and selfish, caring more about what he wanted than Armitage’s comfort or preferences. However, as he learned more and they grew closer, Armitage realized that he and Ben were similar in many ways and Ben was simply more willing to take a risk by approaching Armitage in public despite the chance of being rejected or humiliated. And as they finished their dinner and began walking side by side towards the theatre at the front of the ship, shoulders barely brushing but an easy chatter between them, Armitage was increasingly grateful to Ben for taking that first step and not giving up on him.

 

The theatre was already starting to fill up when they arrived even though the show didn’t start for another twenty minutes. Ben and Armitage found two seats near the right-side wall, out of the way but still close enough to see the entire stage. Armitage could see the stage was dimly lit except for spotlights on a few decorative flags hanging from the ceiling and fluttering gently in the room’s moving air. He and Ben continued to chat while the remaining seats in the theatre became occupied and the room’s lights were finally turned off.

 

The show itself was a re-telling of the ancient Asian fable called The Grateful Crane and used a lot of puppetry alongside the actors on stage. It told a story of appreciating and being grateful for what you had, and not taking those you love for granted. It was very touching and the music filling the room was beautiful. Subtly Armitage looked around, confirming that everyone around them was watching the stage and couldn’t see much in the darkness anyway. Then he hesitantly reached over and brushed his fingers against the back of Ben’s hand.

 

Ben looked over quickly, concerned first and then curious. After a moment Ben rotated his hand and laced their fingers, palms pressed together. In the shadows they shared a private smile and then turned back to the stage, their joined hands resting comfortably on Ben’s thigh for the remainder of the show. Armitage relished in the gentle sweep of Ben’s thumb across his knuckles and they only pulled apart when the show ended and it was time to applaud the actors.

 

Armitage felt alight with excited energy as he and Ben exited the theatre along with the rest of the crowd and began walking down the halls towards the back of the ship. The theatre was on deck seven like his cabin and without words Ben had begun to walk Armitage ‘home’ for the evening. It was a sweet gesture and the more they talked, the more topics they found to talk about, so the walk passed quickly. Before either of them realized it, they were standing in the deserted hallway outside Armitage’s door.

 

The anticipation between them was palpable, Ben standing very close with Armitage’s back against the door. Armitage could tell what Ben was thinking, judging by the way his eyes jumped between Armitage’s eyes and lips, and he realized that he really wanted to kiss Ben too.

 

“Thank you for joining me tonight,” Ben said, voice quiet and gruff.

 

“It was a much better evening than I had anticipated for myself,” Armitage answered with a smile. Trying to encourage Ben, he placed a hand on Ben’s arm to reel him in a half-inch closer.

 

He felt his heart jump when Ben started to lean in, but at the last moment Ben paused. “Sorry, I forgot about being in public—”

 

Without another word Armitage closed the last few inches of space between them and their lips met. Instantly Armitage felt Ben’s body cant forward and his hand shyly rest on Armitage’s hip. The kiss was soft and chaste and left Armitage feeling a little lightheaded when they pulled apart a long moment later. They were both blushing as they grinned stupidly at one another, and Armitage allowed it when Ben leaned in to steal a second, lingering kiss.

 

“A perfect end to a perfect evening,” Ben hummed as he eventually withdrew and took a solid step backwards.

 

For a moment Armitage feared he had done something wrong and was disappointed by Ben moving back rather than closer. Then he realized that Ben was trying to make a point – he wasn’t here just for sex. Wanting to respect this but still hint that he was interested in more, Armitage took a moment to unlock his door and then said from within the doorframe, “If you keep playing your cards right there will be many more evenings like this.”

 

Ben’s smile was lopsided and very endearing. “I can’t wait. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

 

“Bright and early,” Armitage confirmed. It was now routine for him to meet Ben at the gym for them to work out before going to breakfast. The ship would also be docking in the Dominican Republic overnight and Armitage, Ben, Phasma and Rey had their second excursion in the afternoon. “Goodnight, Ben.”

 

“Goodnight, Armi.” After a quick scan of the empty hallway, Ben pressed a light kiss to Armitage’s cheek and then started walking towards the staircase. Armitage let himself watch until Ben was out of sight before entering his cabin fully and closing the door behind him.

 

#

 

_Day Six_

 

Seemingly half the cruise ship had decided they also wanted to swim with dolphins because Armitage, Ben, Phasma and Rey needed to shuffle on board a full coach bus that would drive them to the excursion. The bus driver announced that it would be a twenty minute drive before starting up the engine. Armitage was seated next to Ben with Phasma and Rey in the seats behind them. They were near the back of the bus as it lurched into motion and Armitage didn’t recognize anyone so he leaned his body against Ben with their hands twined between them on the seats.

 

Ben, Rey and Phasma talked about what other animals they wanted to see while at the Sea-Life Sanctuary they were visiting, and about what they wanted to do the following day when the ship would be sailing all day rather than at port. Armitage listened but mostly remained silent, instead watching the passing scenery of greenery and small towns they drove through en route to their destination. It was relieving just being able to relax and be himself, talking when he had something to say but otherwise listening to his friends chatter.

 

When the coach bus rolled to a stop in front of a large building by the ocean, Armitage let go of Ben’s hand and they all slowly got off the bus. The crowd of forty individuals from the ship was split up into four groups of ten people, each one following a designated specialist who would give them a tour of the sanctuary and lead them through the dolphin swim.

 

Armitage, Ben, Phasma and Rey requested to stay together and their group was the first one taken into the building for the main tour. Their specialist introduced herself as Jody and explained the history of the sanctuary and the type of rescue and rehabilitation work they did for sick or injured marine animals in the area. The tour led them past multiple rooms containing massive aquariums filled with everything from fish to sea turtles and stingrays.

 

While they walked, Rey started talking excitedly with Ben about the sea turtle that was floating lazily near the window of the nearest aquarium. Quietly Phasma moved to stand next to Armitage and gave him a nudge with her elbow. “Seems like getting to know him hasn’t impeded your interest at all.”

 

“What makes you say that?” Armitage asked but didn’t refute her.

 

“Well you’re actually _yourself_ around him which is a good start,” Phasma pointed out with a smile. “Not to mention how relaxed you’re being about physical closeness in public.”

 

Armitage ducked his head. He wasn’t ashamed, only self-conscious about being so obvious. Of course, Phasma knew him better than anyone else; she would be the first to notice a change in him, especially a positive one. “We’re still being careful when there’s a chance of my family overseeing us but otherwise…” Armitage weathered his bottom lip between his teeth for a moment, trying to come up with the words to properly explain how he was feeling. “I guess he just gives me the courage to take a few chances for something that’s worth it.”

 

“I’m so proud of you,” she fake sniffled and wrapped him in a tight hug that squeezed the air from his lungs. “My little boy is growing up.”

 

“Oh fuck off,” Armitage whispered and wiggled out of her arms, though they were both laughing as they trailed behind the group when it moved to the next room. “And what about you?”

 

Phasma glanced quickly at Rey and then back. Her smile turned a little shy. “I booked us a private dinner tonight and she agreed to join me.”

 

“That’s great,” Armitage said, happy to know that this whole plan had introduced his closest friend to someone worthwhile as well. “Looks like we both lucked out.”

 

“So far, so good,” Phasma agreed.

 

By then Ben and Rey had realized that their dates were falling behind and stopped to wait for them. Phasma slung a loose arm around Rey’s shoulders and they walked ahead leaving Ben and Armitage at the back of the group. “Everything okay?” Ben wondered as they started walking side by side.

 

“More than okay,” Armitage assured him with a brief squeeze of his hand and then they rushed to catch up with the rest of the group and Jody.

 

The tour ended with the group standing at the edge of a large tank, being shown the behind-the-scenes details of how all of the enclosures were taken care of and how the animals were fed. One by one each member of their group was invited up onto a platform where they could reach over the side of the tank and gently brush their fingers along the shell of the sea turtle at the surface while it was given food. After that Jody directed them to the washrooms to wash their hands and change into their swimsuits before they put their clothes and valuables in lockers nearby.

 

Ben in nothing but swim shorts was still a sight Armitage needed to get used to, but he did his best while they all waited in the lobby for Jody to return and take them outside. Slowly but surely the whole group of ten collected in the lobby, dressed for their dolphin encounter, and they were led through a set of locked doors. As they stepped back out into the sunshine Armitage shielded his eyes with a hand and looked around. He felt like he was behind-the-scenes at a zoo with all of the various enclosures and specialists milling around taking care of the animal residents.

 

Jody stopped them at the top of a small staircase. While they waited for another group of ten to leave the enclosure, they all put on the life jackets Jody handed them one by one. When she was satisfied that everyone was strapped in, they were taken down into the dolphin area. At the bottom of the stairs was a semicircle of smooth, flat concrete that stretched out in either direction and also gradually disappeared beneath the bright blue water. Armitage felt a small burst of nerves when he saw a dolphin breech the water’s surface further out in the deeper part of the enclosure, but he walked forward with the rest of the group when Ben rested a comforting hand on his mid back.

 

The group of ten along with Jody all shuffled forward on the concrete bottom until the water was lapping at their knees. Then they were all told to crouch down as another specialist dressed in a wetsuit swam up to join them on the concrete shelf and blew a whistle to call in the dolphins. The second specialist, Bryan, introduced himself and started telling them about the personalities and histories of each dolphin that came up onto the concrete shelf for food tidbits. The water was deep enough that each dolphin’s belly glided just above the concrete while their dorsal fin stuck out of the water.

 

For a few minutes three different dolphins came up onto the concrete shelf and the group of ten were invited to gently brush their hands across the dolphins’ passing backs. Then once everyone had gotten a chance to touch a few dolphins and learn about how they had come to live at the sanctuary, Bryan slid off the shelf back into deeper water and invited any strong swimmers to join him. Phasma decided to stay in the knee-deep water along with two parents, their young child and Jody, who stayed to supervise.

 

The rest of the group dipped into deeper water and followed behind Bryan. It was hard for Armitage to ignore how close Ben was to him since each of his movements sent a cascade of water current against his bare skin. However, that problem fell away when they joined Bryan near the middle of the big pool and suddenly a whole pod of dolphins were swimming around them. Some of the dolphins were braver and more curious than others but Armitage’s attention realigned to the beautiful creatures swimming around him.

 

As sad as it sounded, Armitage hadn’t had much to look forward to from day to day, working at a job he hated for a man who was supposed to love him but never would the way family should. Armitage had been dreading this cruise and yet now he was experiencing fun and exciting things he had never considered for himself. Not for the first time Armitage was grateful that Ben had approached him, and that Armitage had allowed himself to open up and take a chance. He glanced over and caught Ben staring at him. They shared a private smile and then returned their focus to the dolphins.

 

Eventually Bryan sent the dolphins away to the far end of the deep pool and corralled the six swimming guests back to the shallow end. As they swam back, Rey lamented that they couldn’t have more time in the enclosure. Armitage agreed, though his legs had also started to fatigue from treading water and getting out of the water was somewhat of a relief. Rey walked close by Phasma’s side, telling her in detail what it was like to feel dolphins swim beside her, and Armitage and Ben walked behind them as the group was led back to the washrooms to shower off the tank water and change back into their clothes.

 

While they waited for the final two groups to have their turn with the dolphins, Armitage, Ben, Rey and Phasma bought food from the small cafeteria attached to the gift shop and sat outside eating and talking about their experience. They were allowed to wander back through the hallways of the sanctuary as long as they didn’t enter any rooms and only looked at creatures through the glass. Rey wanted to see the sea turtle again and Phasma accompanied her, and Ben took the opportunity to pull Armitage into an empty side hallway.

 

“What are you—?” Armitage’s question was cut off by Ben sealing their lips firmly together. Armitage moaned in the back of his throat and leaned into it for a moment before nudging Ben away. “Do you want us to get in trouble?”

 

“No one here cares,” Ben shrugged and leaned in for another kiss.

 

Armitage turned his face away and Ben’s kiss landed on his cheek instead of his lips. “I don’t think the staff want us making out in the corridor.”

 

“Armi, please,” Ben pleaded with big, dark eyes. “I can’t stop thinking about last night.”

 

The desire in Ben’s expression and voice had Armitage reeling him in for another kiss, their bodies pressed together, though he didn’t let it linger. Ben whined when they broke apart a second time but Armitage wouldn’t give in to another kiss. He knew if he gave in, he wouldn’t be able to stop. “I’ve been thinking about it too,” Armitage confessed. “But making out in public is beyond my comfort zone.”

 

The reminder that Armitage was still adjusting to any public physical contact, let alone kissing, was enough to have Ben stepping back with a guilty expression. “I’m sorry.”

 

Armitage reached forward to touch Ben’s forearm, hoping it reassured him. “It’s okay. I want to kiss you, just not here.”

 

Ben nodded with understanding and lit up with Armitage’s clarification. “Have you thought about—?”

 

“Could you two have a little more public decency?” Rey called down at them from the end of the echoing hallway. “Armitage, don’t let my cousin corrupt you. One of you has to have some self control.”

 

“Excuse you, I have plenty of self control,” Ben huffed, though he looked mostly amused by Rey’s teasing. Phasma said nothing but Armitage caught her smug look.

 

“Uh huh, sure,” Rey scoffed. “Anyway, Jody is calling everyone back to the bus so you better hurry up.”

 

Armitage and Ben shared a look and then trotted down the hallway to catch up with Phasma and Rey, who faked impatience with crossed arms and tapping toes. Back on the bus they took the same seats and Armitage quietly took Ben’s hand in his own, wanting to enjoy their time together while they had it and also assure Ben that his interest was genuine. Ben wore a smile all the way back to the pier, not looking upset even when Armitage pulled his hand away as they started to get off the bus.

 

Once they were back on the ship Armitage had to wave farewell to his friends. He had promised to have dinner with his father and Maratelle in the dining room to give them an update on how the excursion had gone. Armitage wasn’t looking forward to the meal but it was a little easier to be convincing about his fake courting of Rey by simply retelling the truth but swapping out Ben’s name for Rey’s and skipping over the hallway kiss. Plus, Brendol seemed satisfied enough to allow Armitage to leave after dessert while Brendol and Maratelle sipped the rest of their wine when Armitage informed them he had promised to watch the sunset with Rey.

 

Armitage could feel the rumble of the ship’s engines powering up as it prepared to push off from the pier for another overnight voyage. Not wasting time on going back to his cabin to change into a more casual outfit, Armitage picked up his walking pace and met Ben where they had agreed, near the front of the ship on a rarely-used section of deck behind the indoor theatre they had discovered during one of their walks. Here they could get a perfect view of the ocean ahead and to the side of the ship, looking increasingly like black ink with the pinks and oranges of the sinking sunset painted across the cresting waves. And while they didn’t physically touch, they stood close enough to share warmth against the ocean’s sharp breeze.

 

Ben stared out at the view and was talking excitedly about his home in Oregon, how this moment reminded him of watching the sun set into the Pacific Ocean, and how he would love to show the coast to Armitage someday. Armitage wasn’t listening closely, instead quietly watching Ben and the way the sunset lit up his eyes so beautifully. A small smile and a silent sigh of contentment overtook Armitage as he thought to himself, _this is something I could get used to._


	4. Day 7 and 8

_Day Seven_

 

It was mid afternoon though it was so dark outside with rain and heavy clouds that it almost appeared to be night time. It had been raining since early morning so after Armitage and Ben's normal morning routine at the gym, they met up with the rest of their group in the buffet and decided to spend the sailing day inside. It was warm outside but the rain was constant and no one wanted to be out on the balconies so after everyone had finished eating they took over a table in the games room adjacent to the library and settled in.

 

In the morning they had entertained themselves with board and card games. Now, after returning from lunch with newly-full bellies, they had resettled around their table with a massive jigsaw puzzle Finn had chosen from the shelves. Armitage was seated at one end of the table with Finn directly across from him. On the two longer sides of the rectangular table sat Poe and Ben on Armitage's left, and Phasma and Rey on his right.

 

As a collective they had managed to complete the outer boundaries of the puzzle, finding all the flat edges and sticking them together. But now they were all stumped, taking turns eyeing tiny pieces from the pile and considering the completed picture on the cover of the box. "Babe, why did you pick the hardest puzzle?" Poe groaned as he stretched out his back and then chuckled when they all heard something pop.

 

"I thought all the different coloured flowers would make it easier," Finn defended, shuffling his pieces around in front of him. "Does anyone have a piece with some geese on it?"

 

Everyone looked their pieces over and then Rey held two pieces out in offering. "Here you go."

 

Finn took them and started slotting them together just as Phasma slid another two pieces towards him. "That's too many geese," Finn lamented and reached for the box to see the final picture again.

 

Armitage was busy working on a little rowboat and fence section that was near each other in the final picture, slotting together what he had before glancing around to see if anyone else's piles had what he needed. He was so focused that he startled and sent a few puzzle pieces scattering when there was a sudden thump under the table followed by a bit-off curse from Ben. Armitage looked over and saw Ben's eyes clenched closed with pain as he curled forward in his chair, clutching at his lower leg.

 

On Armitage's other side, Rey huffed. "If you're going to play footsy under the table, make sure you have the right foot."

 

"Fuck you," Ben whispered weakly while everyone else at the table laughed. Armitage laughed too, though he placed a hand briefly on Ben's forearm because he sympathized with the bruise he could already imagine forming on Ben's shin from Rey's kick under the table. "I'm okay," Ben muttered a minute later, the red flush of pain receding from his face.

 

"No more of that then, I suppose," Armitage teased, gaze still on Ben instead of the puzzle which everyone else had returned to.

 

"I suppose not," Ben agreed with a wry smile.

 

A few minutes later when everyone was silently focused again on the puzzle, Armitage felt something nudge the back of his heel. Armitage paused but didn't look down to give Ben away as he carefully, gently looped his foot behind Armitage's so that their lower legs were twined together. It was a bit risky but they were seated at the table closest to the back of the room and if Brendol or Maratelle were to walk in, Armitage would have enough warning to pull away. He subtly pressed against Ben's leg just enough to feel his heat and they both shared a private smile before turning back to the puzzle.

 

They were making progress but it was slow and there were huge chunks missing by the time everyone was complaining about sore backs and hungry stomachs. Finally they admitted defeat and poured the one thousand puzzle pieces back into the box before re-shelving it and heading out of the games room for dinner. Since everyone was already dressed and they were in no rush, they went to the dining room for a fancier meal, sharing a table of six and chatting happily about the glass-bottom kayak excursion they had all signed up to do the next day in the Turks and Caicos Islands.

 

Once dinner was done they ventured out onto one of the lower balconies only long enough to determine that it was _still_ raining and then they headed upstairs to the small movie theatre that played a movie every night at 7pm. As the lights dimmed, Ben slowly wrapped an arm around Armitage's shoulders and Armitage leaned into him, focused on Ben's closeness and heat more than the plot of the movie. Armitage had been enjoying the day with the whole group but a part of his brain was dedicated solely to the memory of his extended kiss with Ben the day before and how badly he wanted to do more. He could tell Ben's thoughts were straying in a similar direction when his hand caressed Armitage's arm and then trailed down to hold his waist and start teasing at the waistband of his pants with large, warm fingers.

 

By the time the movie was over Armitage just wanted to take Ben back to his room and lock the door for the rest of the night. Yet it was still early to say goodnight without looking suspicious. When Poe suggested they all go down to the Explorer's Lounge for drinks before bed, Armitage and Ben eyed each other for a long moment of indecision before trailing behind the group. The group snagged one of the last tables in the lounge and they talked over one round of drinks and then two.

 

Armitage was beginning to feel a slight heat and haze from the alcohol and the majority of his attention was on Ben's hand which had settled heavily on his thigh in their shadowy corner of the lounge. As a server approached their group to take orders for a third round, Armitage worked up his courage to catch Ben's eye and mouth 'let's go'. He didn't want to drink anymore and then worry about them being too tipsy to consent to however their evening ended. Immediately Ben nodded and they bid farewell to the group, waving off the smirks and playful wolf-whistles.

 

The storm outside still hadn't let up and large waves continued to tilt the ship this way and that. Between the movement of the ship and the slight haze of alcohol affecting their balance, Ben and Armitage bumped into each other more than once as they started their trek from the front of the ship towards the back where their rooms were located. Each time Ben's hand grabbed Armitage's waist to help stabilize him, Armitage shivered and leaned closer into his embrace before dragging himself away in case his father happened to walk by.

 

After the third time it happened Ben groaned as if in pain. "I just want you in my arms," Ben whispered after looking both ways down the hall to ensure it was empty. "I haven't stopped thinking about kissing you."

 

"Same," Armitage admitted, feeling overheated in his clothes as his arousal slowly and steadily grew. As they passed the next alcove with two room doors, Armitage momentarily gave in to his instincts and crowded Ben against the wall and out of immediate view to steal a quick kiss from his lips.

 

He pulled away just as fast, before Ben could even get hands on him, and Ben cursed. "Our rooms are too far. I have another idea."

 

"Oh?" Armitage raised an eyebrow, trying but likely failing to mask his eagerness.

 

"Follow me," Ben said and walked faster down the hallway.

 

Armitage wanted Ben to take his hand but was also grateful that Ben respected his boundaries and fear of being seen and didn't reach for him in the open. They walked quickly down that hallway into another, less traveled hallway filled with nothing but room doors. In this out of the way part of the ship Ben finally led them into a men's washroom Armitage hadn't even known existed. Before Armitage could do more than look around and confirm the room was completely empty, Ben pulled him into one of the three large stalls and locked the door behind them.

 

"Is this okay?" Ben asked even as he crowded Armitage against the tiled wall, eyes dark and already locked on Armitage's lips.

 

The walls and door of the stall rose from the floor to well above their heads, hiding them and their feet from view if anyone happened to enter the bathroom. It was still risky and they would need to be quiet but that only heightened Armitage's senses and arousal as he pulled Ben in. The meeting of their lips had them both moaning, starved for it as they pressed against one another and deepened the kiss.

 

Not wanting to cut it short like last time, Armitage wrapped both arms around Ben's wide shoulders to keep him close. At the same time Ben's hands slid down Armitage's body to rest on his hips, thumbs massaging and digging in through the fabric of Armitage's shirt. Armitage tilted his head slightly for a better angle and their lips locked, both of them sharing a few brief, fleeting kisses as they experimented and explored. Then Armitage felt Ben's lips parting against his own mouth a moment before a tongue tentatively brushed his bottom lip and he opened himself willingly, shivering as Ben's tongue nudged his own.

 

It was a little awkward with their tongues pressed together and as they ran out of air they leaned away and shared a mutual chuckle. Then their lips were locking together again, Armitage all the more turned on by how comfortable and relaxed Ben made him feel even though kissing someone new could be as nerve-wracking as arousing. Armitage could feel himself getting hard, his cock straining against the zipper of his pants. He canted his hips forward against Ben, seeking friction, and swallowed Ben's groan when their clothed erections rubbed together.

 

Ben's hands tugged Armitage's shirt up until his bare hands could skim over Armitage's waist and stomach, fingers teasing the small trail of hair leading down from Armitage's navel to below his waistband. At the same time Ben broke the kiss only to duck his head down and start mouthing at Armitage's neck. This was a part of Armitage's body that was rarely touched so at the caresses and light sucking of Ben's lips against his skin Armitage inhaled sharply and dug his fingers into Ben's meaty upper body.

 

"Nothing visible," Armitage reminded Ben the first time he felt a teasing brush of teeth against his skin, making his pulse jump.

 

"Duly noted," Ben promised and continued the quest of his lips along the column of Armitage's neck down towards his left collarbone. By the time Ben kissed his way back up and recaptured Armitage's lips, they were both rutting against one another and breathing heavily. Armitage slid his fingers into Ben's hair and tugged lightly, noting the way Ben instantly thrust against him. Armitage's legs bowed apart to better accommodate Ben's thigh as it pushed up against him, causing Armitage to throw his head back and whisper a few curses at how good the pressure and friction was.

 

"Armi," Ben called to him, voice rough as it drew back Armitage's focus until their eyes met. " _May_ I suck your cock?"

 

Armitage was so startled and amused by Ben's wording considering their banter two days earlier that he had to cover his mouth to stifle his laugh. Once he got himself under control Armitage placed his hand back on Ben's shoulder with more weight than necessary, pushing him downward teasingly while a smile still twisted his lips. "Well, when you ask so nicely..."

 

Ben smirked up at him even as he slid down to his knees and began fumbling with Armitage's belt. Armitage spread his legs wider and leaned back against the wall for extra stability as his belt and zipper were undone and Ben pulled his pants and underwear halfway down his thighs. Already fully hard, Armitage's cock twitched when Ben first wrapped a hand around his base and stroked him a few times. Armitage would've felt embarrassed by his eagerness except Ben's expression of open desire assured him there was nothing to be shy or ashamed about.

 

Almost immediately Armitage could tell Ben had done this before and instead of ruminating in jealousy, Armitage focused on how good it felt to be inside Ben's mouth. Ben kept one hand around Armitage's base and fed the rest of his cock into Ben's mouth. It was hot and wet and Ben knew exactly how to suck while keeping his teeth behind his lips. In the confines of his shoes, Armitage's toes curled with pleasure and he knotted his fingers deeper into Ben's wavy hair, holding him in place between his quivering thighs.

 

"Oh fuck, Ben," Armitage whispered shakily as Ben swallowed him down until his lips were pressed against his hand. Armitage could feel the way Ben's tongue was cradling and teasing the underside of his cock, and each brush had his cock pulsing. Ben started to bob his head, sucking as he withdrew until only the head of Armitage's cock remained encased in his mouth before Ben took him back in again. Armitage could do nothing but pant, take what he was given, and try to not let his knees fold under him as pleasure consumed him in waves.

 

Suddenly they heard a creak of the door hinges as someone else entered the bathroom. They both froze in place, Armitage covering his mouth with a hand again to muffle the breathing he could barely control. He expected Ben to pull off and maybe stand but Ben remained on his knees, his lips shiny with saliva and spread obscenely around the girth of Armitage's cock which twitched at the thrill of doing something they shouldn't in public. As the stranger peed, flushed and washed his hands, Ben's mouth began to move along Armitage's length again, slower to avoid making wet noises but more determined than ever.

 

By the time the door creaked open and thudded closed once more, Armitage was edging close to his finish. It had barely been more than a minute but Armitage had spent his whole life hiding his sexuality and desires from everyone. Yet now for one minute a stranger had been mere feet away while Ben, a very attractive man, hollowed his cheeks and bobbed his mouth around Armitage's cock. Armitage was hyperaware, every nerve ending electrified, and he couldn't bite off his needy moan when he felt his balls tighten.

 

"Ben, I'm close," Armitage warned, tugging on Ben's hair. Ben didn't withdraw. In fact, he moved both hands to Armitage's thighs and sucked Armitage to the back of his throat. Realizing that Ben planned to swallow, Armitage cried, "Oh, _oh god_ ," and came down Ben's throat as his eyes rolled back. Ben held him stable as Armitage's hips jerked forward instinctively, thrusting three spurts of come onto the back of Ben's tongue before a full-body shudder worked through him. Finally Armitage was fully sated and he sagged, pinned between the wall and Ben's strong hands. "Ben, please," he pleaded after a moment of silence.

 

Thankfully Ben seemed to know what he wanted. Ben stood, gathered Armitage in a tight embrace and kissed him anew. The taste wasn't entirely pleasant but the gentleness of each kiss had Armitage melting into it and Ben's warm arms. When they broke apart to catch their breath, Armitage tiredly leaned his head on Ben's shoulder and nuzzled his neck with quiet affection. "What about you?"

 

Ben kissed his temple, clearly in no hurry despite the erection Armitage could still feel pressed against his hip through Ben's pants. "I was thinking I could get off against your back if you don't mind. I don't think it'll take me long considering how aroused you already have me," Ben laughed softly.

 

Armitage was still too sated to get aroused again after such a powerful orgasm but he liked hearing that he had such a physical affect on Ben. He nodded and allowed Ben to turn him around to face the wall, bracing himself on his forearms. Over his shoulder Armitage watched Ben undo the fly of his pants and shove them down and out of the way. He saw Ben's thick cock hanging hard and heavy between his legs as Ben wrapped a fist around himself and stroked along the length a few times with a quiet hiss.

 

Armitage turned back to face the wall as Ben shuffled up behind him, using the hand on his cock to align it in the cleft of Armitage's ass. Both of Ben's hands held Armitage's narrow waist, thumbs indenting his lower back while his remaining fingers splayed across Armitage's taut abdomen. Ben thrust up against him, tentatively at first and then more forcefully when he found a good angle and rhythm. The drag of it against Armitage's ass and lower back was hot and dry until Ben dribbled precome on his skin, starting a smooth glide.

Ben fell forward onto Armitage, plastered chest to back with Ben panting loudly in Armitage's ear. Without dislodging Ben, Armitage reached down to clasp the hem of his shirt and tug it up his body until it was under his armpits. He could tell Ben had been right when he said this wouldn't take long and Armitage needed a non-soiled shirt to eventually make it back to his room for the night. "You're so—beautiful," Ben grunted, face pressed against Armitage's shoulder. "You feel so— _so_ good. Armi— _ah_."

 

Ben was teetering on the edge; Armitage could sense it. Each jerk of his hips was rough and uncoordinated, Ben grinding against his ass desperately. Wanting Ben to feel as good as Ben made him feel earlier, Armitage pushed his ass back to increase the friction and moaned. "Come on, I want your come on my skin."

 

"Fucking hell—" was all Ben got out before he flattened Armitage against the wall and Armitage felt Ben's come painting across his lower back and the upper swell of his ass. Ben groaned and gasped through it, holding Armitage's hips so tightly there might be a few bruises the following morning. Armitage leaned into it and smiled to himself, pleased by the shared intimacy and vulnerability of their moment. He held them both up while Ben worked through his orgasm and then finally sagged against him, kissing tiredly along Armitage's neck. "You're amazing."

 

"Clean me off so I can turn around and kiss you again," Armitage told him, wanting to kiss Ben and also move away from the cold wall. Ben did as he was told, grabbing wads of toilet paper to wipe Armitage's skin clean. Armitage would need to shower when he got back to his room but he was clean enough to pull his shirt back down and his pants back up. As soon as they were both dressed, Ben reeled Armitage into another embrace, each kiss lingering and affectionate. Armitage relished in it until he had to eventually turn his face away to yawn. He had no idea what time it was but after the alcohol and then his orgasm, his eyes were beginning to get heavy. "We should probably head back."

 

Ben nodded his agreement but still clung to Armitage, showing his displeasure at the thought of separating. Armitage cupped Ben's face between his hands and offered one last, deep kiss before stepping away to undo the stall's lock and bring them back to reality. Ben followed him obligingly and they slipped back out into the hallway to continue their walk towards their rooms, close enough for their shoulders to occasionally brush when the ship tilted on another passing wave.

 

Once again without being asked Ben walked Armitage to the door of his room. Armitage was still thrumming with satisfaction and affection but there were a few other couples of various ages milling down the hallway and squeezing past them on their way to their own rooms. "Thanks for tonight," Armitage said under his breath, knowing he sounded awkward but unable to say anything else with others around.

 

"I would be happy to provide a repeat performance," Ben offered with a smirk and a fake bow.

 

The thought of doing more with Ben both excited Armitage and made him nervous. He wasn't a virgin but the last time he had gotten a chance to fool around where his father couldn't find him was back in university and that was years ago. Ben had been respectful so far, so Armitage decided to be honest with him. "I want that, but I'm not ready yet."

 

"It's okay." Ben lifted a hand, perhaps to hug him or offer a soothing caress but remembered the other people in the hallway and stuffed his hand in the pocket of his pants. "I hope you sleep well tonight."

 

Before Ben could turn away fully, Armitage reached out to touch his forearm for an instant. "Wait." Ben paused and glanced back at him, face neutral but eyes bright and hopeful. Armitage realized that although he had originally been dreading this cruise, it was now already half over and he only had one more week to spend with Ben. He didn't want to dwell on that yet, but he also didn't want to miss any opportunities just because of his nerves. Armitage licked his lips and steeled his courage. "How about after the dance in two days?"

 

As the suggestion sank in, Ben's face lit up. "I would love that."

 

"After the dance then," Armitage agreed with his own shy but pleased smile. He badly wanted to kiss Ben goodnight but for now his memory of the weight of Ben's lips against his own would need to suffice. "I'll see you in the morning."

 

"You will," Ben nodded and pursed his lips in the smallest, most silent form of a kiss before Armitage finally forced himself into his room for the night. Armitage worried he wouldn't be able to sleep, as elated as he was, but as soon as he slipped beneath the blankets he felt his eyelids grow heavy and he was soon drifting off into a dreamless sleep.

 

#

 

_Day Eight_

 

“I could get used to this.”

 

Armitage looked back over his shoulder to see Ben in the seat behind him in the glass-bottom kayak. Phasma and Rey, and Finn and Poe were seated in their own kayaks but Armitage and Ben had drifted away from the others into a little cove and for the moment they were alone. All around them was blue – the sky and the ocean showcasing the various shades of blue in a perfect blend. The sun was on their legs and arms and faces, making the water beneath their feet all the more appealing. The kayak instructor had said they could get out to swim whenever they wanted but the idea of getting back into the kayak without them both tipping over seemed challenging.

 

Ben was seated lazily in his chair, paddle settled in his lap, and face turned to the sky with his eyes closed and his lips curled into a small, peaceful smile. “You’re not going to fall asleep on me, are you?” Armitage teased.

 

“And miss a minute with you? Not happening,” Ben blinked his eyes open and smiled wider. “It’s just…” Ben paused and looked around them. “I feel like I could forget about the rest of the world while I’m here drifting with you, you know?”

 

“It’s a nice thought,” Armitage said as he too looked around. When he glanced down between his legs he could see a few brave fish near the bottom of the boat. They were unique and colourful, dancing among the currents, rocks and reef wall.

 

“Do you not feel the same?” Ben wondered aloud.

 

Armitage bit his lip, feeling that he was disappointing Ben. “It’s just hard to forget that in one week all of this will be over and you’ll be gone.”

 

“Things will change when we’re off the ship but this doesn’t have to end – unless you want it to,” Ben’s voice rose at the end of his statement, turning it into a worried question.

 

Armitage looked back over his shoulder quickly. “I don’t want it to end. But I think my father would have a few things to say about it and as I’ve mentioned, he has a lot more control over me than I’d like.”

 

Ben had nothing to say in response and when Armitage saw Ben purse his lips, he turned forward facing again. “Just…” Ben began, sighed, and began again. “Just close your eyes.”

 

“What if we bump into the reef or a rock?”

 

“Armi, trust me,” Ben said, and Armitage did so he closed his eyes.

 

“Okay.”

 

“Focus on this moment and on your breathing; the way your chest rises and falls; the sensation of the sun tingling your skin; the smell of salt in your nose. Think about nothing else and if your brain drifts to other thoughts, gently bring it back.” Ben’s voice was measured but strong and Armitage found it easier than he would expect to follow the guidance. He didn’t know how much time passed, a few minutes at least, as Ben had him focus on different things: the sound of waves lapping at the edge of their kayak, the distant call of sea birds, the gentle sway of their boat rocking in the current as Ben used his paddle to keep them safely in open water.

 

For at least one full minute Ben said nothing at all and Armitage took deep breaths. Occasionally his mind would skitter to other thoughts – his father’s scowling face, being back at work after the cruise without Ben in his life, what Ben would do once they were apart – but Armitage did his best to brush them aside and return to the moment. He could feel his shoulders relaxing and his heart slowing down. With his eyes still closed Armitage could almost imagine that he was suspended in space.

 

“How do you feel?” Ben asked him eventually, the sudden voice after silence both jarring and comforting because it was Ben.

 

Armitage blinked his eyes open, squinting slightly against the glare of sun on the water, and took another deep breath. “Relaxed,” he said truthfully. “Calm. What _was_ that?”

 

“Mindfulness meditation,” Ben explained. “It’s something I learned along with my physical activity for dealing with my anger issues. It doesn’t always help but sometimes it’s exactly what I need.”

 

Armitage looked around himself again and although nothing had really changed in the few minutes he had his eyes closed, he felt like he was seeing the world with a new perspective. Yes, the cruise would end. No, he didn’t know what would happen afterwards in terms of Ben and his father and his life in general. But this was a moment to settle into and _experience_ so that he could keep the memory with him long after the sun set.

 

“Thank you.”

 

“You’re welcome.”

 

They paddled over to a different section of reef wall to eye all the multi-coloured fish darting around and the various sea vegetation swaying beneath them. It was like gazing into the largest aquarium in the world and it was humbling to remember that there was a whole other world beneath the waves. Every time Armitage’s thoughts drifted back to the passing of time or his father, he gently refocused on the moment as Ben had taught him. Soon he was in a comfortable lull of contentment and he said, “Yes, I could get used to this as well.”


	5. Day 9 and 10

_Day Nine_

 

Although Armitage was only in one-inch heels, he still felt unsteady as he eyed himself one last time in the mirror. Brendol’s words still echoed in his ears: _embarrassing_. And yes, Armitage felt a little embarrassed dressed the way he was right now, but he was leeching confidence from the hope that Ben would like what he saw.

 

The cruise ship hosted multiple dance nights for guests to mingle and network. Each night had a different theme and tonight was a gender swap theme. Men were supposed to wear dresses and skirts while ladies were encouraged to wear suits and tuxedos with matching shoes and accessories on top of it all. Of course guests didn’t typically pack this sort of attire so the ship had prepared a huge supply of suits and dresses in advance for guests to try on and get fitted to wear for the one night and then return (or purchase if one felt the urge).

 

Brendol and Maratelle had scoffed when they first heard about it and insisted this was an attempt to belittle or embarrass guests. Armitage had thought so too, balking at the idea of wearing a dress and being expected to dance around in it in front of strangers no less. But then he had seen how excited Ben was at the idea and Armitage was reassured that the point was to relax, not take yourself too seriously, and laugh about it over drinks and hopefully friendly conversation. It had taken a few days of careful wording but Armitage finally convinced Brendol to give his blessing. His argument was that by refusing to meet the dress code or skipping the event entirely, he would give the wrong impression to others that he thought he was above them and they would take offense.

 

After he returned to the ship yesterday, after a lovely morning kayaking with Ben, Armitage had entered the shop-turned-studio for his fitting. The tailor, a rosy-cheeked woman named Katie, asked his preferences and comfort level, made a few suggestions, and then got to work. Armitage ended up trying on four dresses before they found ‘the one’, which only needed a few minor adjustments to fit around his thin frame.

 

As Armitage handed over his room card to pay the small, obligatory rental fee, Katie assured him that the dress and heels would be delivered to his room by the end of the night. Then when she handed back his card and receipt she asked, “Is there anything else I can help you with?” She had such a warm, encouraging smile, and there was no one else in the shop at that time. Armitage could feel his face getting hot when he glanced over at the display case tucked out of the way near the back of the room that had caught his eye earlier. It was filled with lingerie and garter belts. Katie followed his gaze and gave him a wink. “Did you see something you liked?”

 

“Um.” Armitage had never thought about wearing something like it before but he thought it would be a fun surprise for Ben. They had agreed to explore the physical aspect of their relationship more after the dance. Armitage had a gut feeling that Ben would like whatever he purchased from that display case, but if Armitage was wrong in his assumption they could just laugh it off.

 

“No judgement here, honey,” Katie rounded the counter to place a light hand on his shoulder and lead him forward.

 

“Could I pay with cash?” There was no way Armitage could explain away a purchase of lingerie on his room card when Brendol asked.

 

“Of course.” Katie patted his arm as they reached the display case. “Now, what did you have in mind?”

 

Now, one day later, Armitage could feel the lace of the panties he had tucked himself into, and of the garter belt teasing his left thigh. This was of course hidden beneath his full length strapless dress made out of a shimmery emerald green material which had been cinched around his narrow waist with a silver trim belt. The heels were a similar shade of green with silver accents and Armitage hoped he wouldn’t be expected to complete many dances in them before Ben swept him away for the part of the evening he was really anticipating.

 

There was a sudden knock on his room’s door and then a familiar female voice. “Are you going to make me walk there alone?” Phasma complained. Armitage smoothed his hair down as he eyed himself in the mirror one last time and then walked as quickly as possible to the door. As soon as the door opened, Phasma crossed her arms. “Took you long enough.” She was dressed in a tailored charcoal gray suit and she looked stunning.

“Do you want me to break an ankle?” Armitage accused, lifting the front of his dress just enough to show the death traps strapped to his feet.

 

Phasma laughed loudly, smirked, and offered an arm. “You’re preaching to the choir. Now come on, our dates are waiting.”

 

Armitage felt his heart jump at the thought of Ben – what he was dressed in, and what he would think of Armitage’s outfit. He took Phasma’s arm, half to get into the mood of the themed night and half to reduce risk of falling until his shakiness in heels faded. As soon as they reached the elevators they were swept up in the crowds of similarly-dressed individuals and it only got busier in the halls converging to the main ballroom. There were plenty of people who looked just as uncomfortable or more so than Armitage felt, but others seemed to be having the time of their lives with wide smiles and easygoing laughter. Brendol and Maratelle had made it clear they would not be attending and Armitage was relieved for that small comfort.

 

Ben and Rey had agreed to meet them in front of the fountain to the left of the ballroom’s entrance so that they didn’t get lost in the crowds. As soon as Armitage turned the corner and laid eyes on Ben, his mouth went dry. Ben’s hair was let down in waves over his ears and his lips were painted red with lipstick. He was wearing a full-length dress that was a matching shade of scarlet with a halter neckline – likely to avoid fabric straining around his muscular chest and arms – and an enticing slit up the side to the height of his knee. Armitage could just barely make out Ben’s feet to see that he had escaped the heels and was instead wearing a pair of black flats.

 

Armitage saw the way Ben’s eyes widened as he approached and it boosted his confidence enough that he let go of Phasma’s arm and approached the last few steps at a quicker pace. When he was directly in front of Ben, Armitage soaked in the hungry look in Ben’s eyes as he was looked over. They couldn’t fall into each other’s arms or kiss the way they both clearly wanted to with so many people around but they made their mutual appreciation known with telling eyes and wide smiles. “I hope you’re not planning on too many dances tonight,” Ben leaned in to say under his breath. Armitage blushed and shook his head in the negative. He was just as eager to bid farewell to the event and find some private time with Ben in one of their rooms.

 

Phasma and Rey were sharing similarly appreciative looks and Phasma pulled Rey into an all-encompassing bear hug to make up for the kiss they wouldn’t risk in public. Then Ben offered his arm to Phasma and Armitage did the same to Rey and they entered the ballroom. There was already a fast-paced classical song being played by a piano and string quartet in one corner and the floor was a combination of dancers and guests standing on the sidelines chatting and sipping from flutes of champagne.

 

They agreed that dancing and socializing for an hour should be enough time so that if any of their parents asked about their attendance, others could confirm they had participated. With that agreed upon, Armitage led Rey onto the dance floor when the music slowed for a melodic waltz, Ben and Phasma doing the same nearby. They moved around the room slowly, Armitage an alright lead but not exactly skilled at dancing. Then when another quick song started they pulled off to the side and Armitage took two flute glasses from a passing server for them to sip while they waited for Ben and Phasma to find them.

 

“You two make a lovely match out there on the dance floor.”

 

Instantly Armitage tensed, his hand clutching dangerously tight on the stem of the glass. He turned on his heel while also trying to subtly grasp Rey’s hand. “Father, I thought you said you weren’t going to attend tonight.”

 

“Yes, well,” Brendol grimaced as he eyed Armitage’s outfit. “I still find the whole theme quite foolish but I wanted to make an effort to meet the lovely lady who caught your eye and see how you are doing.” Brendol said it with a practiced smile but Armitage knew what he really meant. Brendol wanted to see how he was progressing and if the business transaction was nearly sealed.

 

Rey thankfully allowed Armitage to lace their fingers together, though he could tell she was uncomfortable in Brendol’s presence. “This is Rey Skywalker,” he introduced.

 

“Hello,” she said quietly, perhaps feigning shyness to avoid a lengthy discussion. “Armitage and I have been enjoying our excursions and spending time together.”

 

“I’m glad to hear it,” Brendol inclined his head, still wearing that practiced smile. “It’s nice to see young men and women finding their match and enjoying things without letting others spoil the fun. Like those two over there, can you believe it?” Brendol gestured without shame off to the left. Both Armitage and Rey looked to see where he was pointing and realized immediately it was Poe and Finn – dancing together and clearly having a wonderful time – that had caught Brendol’s eye. “Disgusting, isn’t it? It’s good you can soldier on and not let it make you ill.”

 

“I think it’s no one’s business but they’re own,” Rey retorted like the crack of a whip.

 

Brendol’s gaze snapped back to her, his smile returning to its previous grimace as his eyes hardened. Armitage clenched Rey’s hand too tightly but he couldn’t help it. “Oh?”

 

Rey hesitated for an instant and then squeezed Armitage’s hand back, reassuring him. “It’s easier on the stomach when you ignore it.”

 

Her voice sounded strained and Armitage didn’t know if Brendol entirely believed her, but he seemed willing to let the topic slide. “Yes, I suppose that is one strategy,” Brendol said but sent Armitage a calculated look. “Anyway, do excuse me and enjoy the rest of your evening.”

 

Brendol left the ballroom after that and Rey yanked her hand away. Armitage could tell that she was trembling and he felt sick. “I’m sorry,” he muttered. “Thank you, but I’m sorry. You shouldn’t have had to say that about your friends.”

 

“No, I shouldn’t have. And I won’t again,” Rey warned, her eyes still alight with anger. “It’s not your fault, Armitage. But you need to get as far away from that man as you can.”

 

Armitage wanted to tell her that he wanted that exactly, if only it were that easy, but before he could speak they were interrupted again. Ben and Phasma had finished their dance and moved to join them through the crowds. Armitage thought he was holding himself together but Ben immediately rushed up to him and asked, “What’s wrong? Are you okay?” Armitage heard Phasma asking Rey similar questions.

 

Armitage shook his head. “I want to leave, right now.”

 

He ducked away from Ben’s comforting hand, no longer safe in the assumption that Brendol wasn’t nearby watching. “What happened?”

 

Armitage wrapped his arms around himself, trying and failing to give himself the comfort he couldn’t accept from Ben. “Please, can we go? I’ll tell you on the walk.”

 

As soon as Ben verbally agreed, Armitage started walking quickly for the exit. He knew it was selfish but he couldn’t think about Rey right now, and hoped Phasma could take care of her. Suddenly the crowds seemed too close, too loud, too stifling, and Armitage couldn’t get outside fast enough. Even when he was out in the hallway and Ben caught up to him, he was still shaking. “Let’s walk out on the deck,” Ben suggested and led him outside.

 

The sun had already set so the wind was cool as it brushed against Armitage’s bare arms, but it was also relieving and he took deep breaths of the salty air. It helped him relax, as did talking about the brief but upsetting encounter with Ben once they started walking towards the rear of the ship. Armitage took off his heels so he would walk at a normal pace and he was grateful to Ben who listened silently until Armitage was done with his story.

 

“Rey’s right; you need to get away from him,” Ben said.

 

“I know,” Armitage agreed. “I know, but how?”

 

“We’ll think of something,” Ben promised, and then offered more shyly, “If we became roommates I could cover the rent until you got a job.”

 

“I don’t need charity,” Armitage snapped.

 

“I didn’t say you did,” Ben responded. “But you said it yourself: you’re trapped. I just want to give you the chance to escape and start your own life. You could even pay me back if it bothered you so much, though I would happily pay to spend more time with you.”

 

Armitage stopped walking and studied Ben’s face in the lamplight when Ben stopped too. “You would really do that for me?”

 

“Of course.” They looked both ways down the deck to confirm no one was close enough to see them in the half-shadows and then Ben brushed a hand softly down Armitage’s arm.

 

“What if we don’t work out?” Armitage worried.

 

Ben shrugged. “At least we got to try, you know? I would do a lot to get even a chance for us to work and be together.”

 

Without conscious thought, Armitage unwrapped his arms from around himself and instead wound his arms around Ben’s shoulders to pull them flush together. Their skin was chilled from the night air and their lips were chapped but the kiss was heated and needy. “Take me to bed,” Armitage whispered against Ben’s mouth after the kiss, and let Ben grab his hand to lead him down the deck.

 

Ben took them to his room and let them in with a quick swipe of his room card. The door was locked behind them, the lights were flicked on, their shoes were dropped to the floor and then Armitage found himself pinned against the wall as Ben held his hips and kissed him deeply. Armitage moaned into it and dug his fingers into Ben’s hair, kissing him over and over again. He wanted this despite his nerves and he wouldn’t let Brendol ruin the rest of his night. Armitage met every kiss hungrily until Ben mouthed at his neck and then one of his exposed collarbones.

 

“Have you done this before?” Ben asked after kissing back up to Armitage’s mouth and pressing a softer, chaste kiss on his lips.

 

Armitage blushed. “Once, but it was a while ago back in university.”

 

“We’ll go slow,” Ben said and framed Armitage’s face between his palms. Ben kissed him lightly – so lightly that Armitage whined and tried to follow his lips when Ben leaned back. “We can stop at anytime too.”

 

“Thanks,” Armitage said and meant it. “But now that you’ve proven yourself a gentleman I’d really like it if you got back to kissing me.”

 

Ben laughed and finally pushed back into Armitage’s personal space. Ben captured his lips and also pressed their bodies together, the soft fabric of their dresses doing very little to contain their growing erections. Too soon Ben’s lips detached from Armitage’s mouth but Armitage couldn’t complain when he saw the direction Ben was heading. The slit up the side of Ben’s dress allowed him to kneel on the floor, Ben grasping at the hem of Armitage’s dress to pull it up and over his head.

 

“Holy shit,” Ben swore and ducked back out from under the dress to meet Armitage’s gaze. “Did you wear that for me?”

 

“Do you like it?” Armitage fidgeted.

 

“Hell yeah I do,” Ben said and returned under Armitage’s dress. Wearing a dress felt odd, especially when doing something so intimate, yet not being able to see exactly what Ben was doing added to the thrill and excitement of it all. Besides, it felt a tiny bit scandalous and Armitage loved it. Armitage startled when he suddenly felt Ben’s mouth sucking a greedy hickey just above the garter belt on his inner thigh. The adrenaline fuelled his arousal and had his cock hardening further in his lacy panties. Ben wasted no time in mouthing at him through the panties and then pulling them down to his thighs.

 

Armitage wanted to dig his fingers into Ben’s hair like he had the other night but the fabric of his dress was in the way and he couldn’t be bothered to hike it up. Instead he used the wall for support and rested his hands on Ben’s head through the dress, panting quietly into the air as Ben sucked him down to the root. The thoughts and anxieties surrounding the encounter with Brendol fell away into a void, Armitage’s brain capable of nothing but vibrating with each wave of pleasure from Ben’s mouth.

 

“I’m getting close,” Armitage warned when his arousal rose sharply, every muscle in his body tensing in preparation for his release.

 

Armitage whined when Ben removed his mouth, forgetting for an instant that finishing with Ben inside him was what he wanted. Ben re-emerged from beneath Armitage’s dress, kissed him deeply, and then undressed them as quickly as possible without ripping anything. Soon Armitage was nudged onto his back on Ben’s bed, naked except for the garter belt which Ben demanded stay since the panties could not. Armitage was already so aroused and desperate that he took Ben’s first lubed finger without complaint, and begged too eagerly for the second. Ben made him wait but only until he was certain it wouldn’t hurt, and Armitage’s breath left him in a rush as his hole stretched.

 

Armitage was nervous but still eager for it when Ben moved between his legs, condom on and stroking lube over himself with a tight fist. Armitage followed Ben’s lead – _deep breaths, deep breaths_ – as Ben lined himself up and began to push forward. The first stretch around Ben’s crown made Armitage wince instinctively, but as Ben continued forward the movement turned into a glide and Armitage started to relax. Everything after that was a blur of pleasure and elation, each of Ben’s thrusts feeding a warmth within Armitage’s body that had already existed and now began to flourish.

 

Though he couldn’t feel Ben’s seed filling him when they both came, Armitage liked to pretend he could. He wrapped his legs around Ben as tightly as possible, hooking his knees on Ben’s hips, and held him close while their bodies twitched, shuddered and calmed. Armitage knew he would be sore tomorrow but there was no regret as he let Ben finally pull out and clean them both up. Their dresses were in a heap collecting wrinkles on the floor but Armitage only yawned and hummed sleepily as Ben slid them both under the blankets to sleep.

 

#

 

_Day Ten_

 

In the morning Armitage woke up warm and relaxed. He was beneath the pile of blankets with one of Ben’s arms thrown loosely around his waist. Armitage could see the clock across the room as he rubbed sleep from his eyes, noting that it was nearly 9am; the latest he had slept in who knew how many years. Lucky for them it was another sailing day and they had nowhere that they needed to be. Ben still seemed deeply asleep, snoring softly near Armitage’s ear, and Armitage wasn’t hungry yet so he decided not to wake Ben. Instead he carefully left Ben’s hold, used the washroom, and then put on the fluffy bath robe from the closet.

 

Armitage let himself out onto Ben’s tiny balcony for some fresh air and to soak in the morning sun. He wasn’t sure how long Ben would sleep so Armitage grabbed one of the two chairs on the balcony and sat in the sun, listening to the sound of the surf and the constant thrum of the engine far below. Without meaning to, Armitage began to doze in his chair, though he opened his eyes when he heard the sliding door opening. Armitage’s attention sharpened when he saw how worried Ben’s expression was.

 

“What’s wrong?”

 

Ben blinked at him a few times, wide eyed and lips slightly parted with surprise. “I… I thought you left.” Ben’s voice cracked somewhere in the middle of the sentence.

 

Armitage blinked back at Ben in his own surprise, noticing now just how frazzled Ben looked. “What would I have left in? My outfit’s on the floor.”

 

Armitage caught the way Ben swallowed hard and his bottom lip trembled with contained emotion. “I didn’t think, I just—I woke up and you were gone, and—”

 

“I’m here,” Armitage promised as he got out of the chair and quickly pulled Ben into a hug in the doorframe. “I’m sorry. I’m here.”

 

Ben hugged him so tightly Armitage’s ribcage ached but he said nothing. For a moment he allowed Ben to tuck his face against Armitage’s neck and breathe him in. Then, when Ben started to relax, Armitage slowly walked them back into the cabin and towards the bed. Last night Ben had taken care of him, and he had been so gentle and generous. This morning Armitage would take care of Ben, and as they both fell into bed Ben only pulled him closer.

 

#

 

“What’s wrong?” Ben asked.

 

“I didn’t say anything was wrong,” Armitage retorted.

 

Ben shifted slightly to look at him better. “You didn’t need to say it.”

 

They were up on the private deck Ben’s family had rented for the cruise, squeezed together into the hammock. It was very late, no one else awake or around this part of the ship to interrupt them, and they had moved the hammock stand out from beneath the canopy. Pressed together as they were, their combined body heat kept them warm as they stared up at the stars over their heads. Earlier on in the cruise Armitage had mentioned his love of stargazing and Ben never forgot, bringing them up here to talk and learn more about each other whenever possible.

 

After a late breakfast in bed, Armitage and Ben had spent the sailing day nearly glued at the hip. It had been a wonderful day, but as time wore on Armitage felt a swelling sense of melancholy. It was hard to stay cheerful when time was slipping through his fingers so fast; now he only had four more days to spend with Ben before they would be separated. And no matter what Ben promised, it was hard for Armitage to believe that things would work out once the fantasy that was this cruise ended and they returned to reality.

 

Armitage told Ben this, not wanting Ben to think Armitage regretted what they had done that morning or the night before. He allowed it when Ben wrapped an arm tighter around him for a one-armed hug. “We talked about this though, didn’t we?” Ben questioned. “I suggested we could become roommates. I meant it.”

 

“I know you did,” Armitage said and kissed Ben softly to reassure him. “I believed you. But everything is so uncertain and… risky. Even if I can get away from my father after the cruise to come be with you, you may change your mind. I’m not exactly easy to get along with.” Armitage laughed without humour. “And once I defy my father there’s no going back, even if you and I don’t work out.” The mental image of Armitage sitting out somewhere in the rain, heartbroken, no money and nowhere to go, had his anxiety mounting despite Ben’s embrace.

 

Ben was silent for a minute, seemingly collecting his thoughts before he spoke. “Look, I know you have more to lose than I do. Selfishly I want you to be happy, and I want the chance to be part of that. It’s your choice and I can’t make you pick me, but I hope you do. For now I just want every minute with you that I can get.”

 

Armitage sighed and pressed his cheek against Ben’s own. “How do you always know the right words to say?”

 

Ben chuckled. “I never do. It’s just that with you I’m making a special effort to try to avoid putting my foot in my mouth.”

 

That made Armitage smile and with a hand cupping Ben’s far cheek, he pulled them into a kiss. As their lips joined Armitage felt warm, powerful words bubble up in his chest. They were words he never thought he’d want to say to anyone and the thought of voicing them when things still might not work out made him nervous, but not as nervous as he would’ve been with anyone another than Ben in this moment. Armitage didn’t crush the words down; he merely set them aside and kissed Ben with a firmer passion, hoping that one day he would be ready to share those words with Ben.


	6. Day 11 and 12

_Day Eleven_

 

“I can’t wait to see what you have planned,” Ben grinned at him before glancing out the window of the jeep driving them away from the pier where the cruise ship was docked. They were in Belize for the day and it was Armitage’s turn to surprise Ben with a private excursion he had booked for them. They had agreed that today and tomorrow, when they were in San Juan, they would each get a turn to plan a private outing to surprise the other. The cruise was quickly drawing to its natural end and they could both feel it. They were becoming less interested in maintaining their fake relationships and more desperate to share as much time together as possible.

 

“I hope you like it,” Armitage murmured, eyes on his hands which were clutched in his lap. He had been thinking about this for days, trying to come up with the best excursion possible for them to share. Now he suddenly worried that Ben wouldn’t enjoy it as much as Armitage originally thought.

 

“You’ll be there. I don’t really need anything else,” Ben reassured him and gently grasped one of his hands to lace their fingers together.

 

There was no one else in the jeep except for the driver, Ricardo, who was focused on the road, so Armitage allowed Ben to peck his cheek. Each little moment like this made Armitage’s heart flutter and he cherished them all, fearing that despite what Ben promised, it would all be over in less than four days. He didn’t want to think about that or the way it made his gut clench, so he soaked in every happy moment he could.

 

The drive was twenty minutes down a paved road that wound along the coastline. When the jeep started to slow, Armitage looked out and saw that they were parking in a small parking lot next to a large ranch-style house near the waterfront. As Ben and Armitage got out of the jeep and followed their guide who waved them towards the front entrance of the building, they could hear the whinny of a horse.

 

Ben’s eyes went wide and he looked over at Armitage as they continued walking forward. “Are we horseback riding?”

 

Armitage took comfort in Ben’s hand which was still wrapped warmly around his own. “Yeah. I remember you talking about how much you loved it when you were younger and went to your uncle’s ranch. Is this okay?”

 

“ _Okay_?” Ben gaped at him. “For being such a thoughtful boyfriend I’m going to make you sing tonight in bed,” Ben whispered, low and sultry in his ear, making Armitage blush, “but for now this is perfect!”

 

Armitage’s brain was momentarily overtaken by the mental images of what Ben might do to him tonight but he was tugged along by Ben’s hand down the path and he refocused on the present. They rounded the side of the large house and Ricardo led them to a large padlock out back. It was split into two sections – a large, open area and a smaller one with a gate next to the house. In the smaller section were three horses, already saddled and munching lazily on grass.

 

A tall woman with dark skin, hazel eyes and a bright smile came out of the house to shake their hands and introduce herself as Tina, the ranch owner. She shared some of the history of Belize and her ranch and then asked them a few questions about their prior horseback riding experience to pair them up with the right horse. Ben, with his years of experience, ended up in the saddle of a black stallion while Armitage got a hand-up into the saddle of a painted mare.

 

“You look quite majestic,” Armitage told Ben, tone light but not at all joking. Ben swept his hair back dramatically and sent him a wink, and although Armitage rolled his eyes, he laughed.

 

“You enjoy yourselves now!” Tina called out to them as the guide mounted his own chestnut stallion and gave it a nudge to begin moving towards the gate by the house. “Ricardo is the best guide we have.” She opened the gate and allowed all three horses with their riders to walk out of the padlock single-file. Ricardo led the way with Ben’s horse next in line and Armitage’s mare bringing up the rear.

 

The excursion Armitage had booked included a one to two hour horseback ride – dependent on weather and riders’ interest and comfort level – along the beaches. Ricardo had been mostly silent when he picked Armitage and Ben up from the pier but now as the horses’ hooves began to sink into the damp sand, he started to speak up. He explained a little more about himself – that he had been working with the ranch to guide horseback rides for tourists for over twenty years and had lived in the area another twenty. Ricardo also offered to tell them history and details of the areas as they traveled by, or to give them personal space and simply guide the horses silently. Armitage and Ben agreed on a combination of both, asking Ricardo to teach them about things as they passed by each destination on their trip, and then get a chance to talk on the way back towards the ranch.

 

The weather was perfect and Armitage was in no rush for the excursion to end. It was late afternoon but the sun was still well above the horizon, keeping the air warm despite the cool breeze ghosting off the incoming waves. Ricardo was an excellent guide and knew as much about the area as he claimed, taking Armitage and Ben into little nooks, caves and tide pool areas while pointing out some historical buildings they could see in the distance as they passed.

 

Armitage and Ben chatted casually during the first half of their ride, half because they were interested in hearing Ricardo’s stories and half because they didn’t want to be rude. But when Ricardo announced sadly that it had already been an hour and he had to get them and the horses home, Armitage and Ben got some private time to talk on a more personal level. Ricardo pulled ahead of them on the sand, his stallion kicking up sand while Ben pulled back on his reins to slow his horse until he and Armitage were riding side by side.

 

“So, I thought of a question,” Ben announced. They had been doing this all week, coming up with questions to ask each other to learn more and grow closer. Armitage focused on him with interest. “If you could have one wish granted right now, no limitations, what would it be and why?”

 

The first thought that came to Armitage’s mind was to wish that he was free of his father, or that he had met Ben sooner. He didn’t say either of these answers though. They were both things he wanted, but Armitage knew there was something he wanted more; something that made him ache every time his mind brushed over the thought.

 

Barely louder than the sound of the surf, Armitage answered, “I wish my mom hadn’t died so young.”

 

Ben glanced over at him sharply, eyebrows creased into a frown. “Shit, Armi, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean...”

 

“It’s okay,” Armitage said as Ben trailed off. “You didn’t know. And I wouldn’t have told you if I didn’t want to.”

 

They rode in silence for a few paces before Ben cleared his throat. “What happened?”

 

Armitage sighed, physically exhaling the emotions he felt weighing heavy on his chest. “She got sick when I was six and died before my eighth birthday. I suppose it’s a selfish thing to wish for; my father didn’t treat her well. From what I know she was an attendant in my grandfather’s house and my grandfather demanded my father marry her to avoid me being born out of wedlock. I don’t think it was anything more than lust for my father, but he did as he was told.”

 

“I think she shielded me from him when I was young, though I don’t remember a lot before I was five,” Armitage continued when Ben didn’t interrupt. “But by then I could tell she was unhappy, except when she was with me. She was a good mom.” Armitage’s voice wobbled with emotion and he frowned at himself, but when he looked over he saw no judgement on Ben’s attentive face. “I think if I grew up with her I wouldn’t have turned out the way I did.”

 

“What do you mean?” Ben asked gently.

 

Armitage huffed a second sigh. “I don’t know. Less anxious and uncertain. Less angry at the world.”

 

“You know I love you just the way you are, right?” As the words registered, Armitage felt a swoop in his stomach as if they were on a roller coaster. It took Ben a second longer for his brain to catch up with his mouth and then his eyes widened. “Shit! That’s not how I planned—I mean, I _do_ , you know, but I don’t want you to feel like you have to say it back…” Ben covered his face with a hand and groaned loudly. “Shit.”

 

Armitage was still stunned as Ben’s words echoing through his mind. His body was quickly filling with a giddy excitement that was nearly nauseating with its intensity, especially as the silence between them widened into something awkward. Each second that passed with Armitage not saying the words back made him increasingly nervous. Armitage did care for Ben, _a lot_ , but _love_ was a heavy, important word. Did he really want to say that word to Ben, to admit how deep his feelings ran, only for Ben to fall out of his life as soon as this cruise ended?

 

“We can pretend I didn’t say anything,” Ben sounded panicked now, fingers knotted and pulling anxiously on some strands of hair. “I could answer the wish granting question instead.”

 

“I would like to hear your answer to that question,” Armitage said. “But I don’t want to pretend you didn’t say you love me.” He saw Ben’s throat constrict as he swallowed hard and Armitage was silently grateful that Ricardo was far enough ahead to not overhear any of this awkward conversation. “I don’t want you to think that I don’t care about you because I do. I just never let myself imagine I would meet someone like you – and that someone would like me back. I need some time to… process.”

 

“I understand,” Ben said, failing at a bright smile but trying all the same to make Armitage feel better. The tension in the air remained, and for now unfortunately it would stay that way. Armitage hoped he could sort out his feelings and get over his anxieties quickly but he wasn’t going to rush to say that big word back only to regret it later. Ben deserved to hear it when Armitage was certain that he meant it from the bottom of his heart.

 

As the silent minutes inched by, the urge to tell Ben he loved him grew but Armitage resisted. He could tell he had hurt Ben, rejecting his confession even though it wasn’t Armitage’s intention. “Ben…”

 

“It’s okay,” Ben answered quickly, though he wouldn’t meet Armitage’s eyes.

 

“Ben,” Armitage said again, more firmly this time. “You need to know that you are the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

 

Ben wiped quickly at his face with the back of one hand and then shyly looked over. “Really?”

 

“Really,” Armitage nodded. “I may have a weird hang-up with that one word but it doesn’t change that truth. And it means… _a lot_ that you were willing to tell me that.”

 

“I meant it, you know. I mean it.” Ben led his horse to walk right beside Armitage’s horse. With the distance and movement they couldn’t hold hands but Ben reached over to brush a hand along Armitage’s forearm for a moment and that small gesture meant so much.

 

Armitage realized Ben wasn’t going to say that word again, at least until Armitage said it back. Armitage could understand that Ben meant it but felt vulnerable and he wasn’t going to push or beg for Ben to say it again just because he wanted to hear it. “I know,” Armitage acknowledged, and felt another part of him melt when Ben offered another small but very warm smile.

 

#

 

_Day Twelve_

 

“Can I take off the blindfold yet?”

 

“Not yet,” Ben squeezed his hand. They had just gotten out of a jeep, Ben helping Armitage down since he couldn’t see. Armitage feared he looked gangly and awkward fumbling around but Ben certainly didn’t seem to notice or care. “We’re going to walk on sand so hold my arm.”

 

Armitage appreciated the warning and looped his arm through Ben’s own for the added stability as his feet started to sink into soft sand. He held onto Ben a little tighter. Armitage didn’t know where they were going or what Ben’s date entailed but he could hear the surf very close by, and estimated they had been on the jeep from the ship pier for at least fifteen minutes. He knew there must be a driver and guide but they were silent, likely leading Ben without words.

 

Armitage’s curiosity continued to mount at the same time as his mood improved. All day he had been anticipating Ben’s surprise date plan without any hint or action taking place. As the day wore through breakfast and then lunch, Armitage’s heart and mood began to sour; he worried that his messing up after Ben’s love confession the day before had gotten the date cancelled entirely. Shortly before dinner time Ben began to alleviate those concerns by leading Armitage off the ship and down the pier towards a waiting jeep where the blindfold got introduced.

 

“You know the ship leaves at 9pm, right?” Armitage asked. They had left shortly after 6pm and the sun had just finished setting at that point.

 

Seemingly alone on the beach, the driver staying with the jeep, Ben pressed a light kiss to his temple. “We’ll be back in plenty of time. Trust me.” Armitage took a deep breath and continued to follow Ben’s lead down the beach, the surf on his left side while they walked. It only took a few minutes before Ben slowed them to a stop and then used his arm to guide Armitage into changing his position until – based on the shifting sound of the surf – they were facing the ocean directly. “Okay, now you can take off the blindfold.”

 

Armitage let go of Ben’s arm to reach up and pull off the fabric covering his eyes. As it was removed Armitage blinked his eyes open, though it took him a few long seconds to understand what he was seeing. For an instant Armitage thought Ben had walked him to the shore of a beach overlooking space, rather than an ocean. There was nothing but a great expanse of darkness in front of them, from the waves lapping at their toes and stretching out into forever, broken only by twinkling, luminescent blue stars.

 

Except they weren’t stars at all – or at least the ones below the horizon were not. While the world above them was blanketed by a familiar vast night sky Armitage knew well from years of private study, the ocean was lit up with living stars; tiny bio-luminescent plankton riding unperturbed along the water and its currents. It was the most beautiful, peaceful sight Armitage had ever seen and he was momentarily choked by wonder and emotion.

 

“It’s beautiful,” he whispered, voice hushed for fear of disturbing this private world.

 

Ben ran a hand through his hair and gave Armitage a pleased smile. “I know you love stars and stuff. This was the closest I thought I could get you.”

 

Armitage refused to cry and fought the feeling of his throat constricting with the urge. “Thank you,” he said, still quiet with awe.

 

"There's more," Ben added, excitement making him talk hurriedly.

 

Armitage looked over and saw where Ben was pointing. A little further down the beach there was a small dock with a boat tied up. It looked like a tiny flat-bottomed yacht bobbing lazily in the water. As they walked closer Armitage could see that their captain was already at the controls near the front of the boat while the back had a large leather couch and a table filled with their waiting dinner. Armitage took Ben's offered hand as they stepped onto the boat and the captain invited them to sit down and eat as much as they wanted while she started the engine and drove them slowly away from shore.

 

Armitage's hunger hit him as he and Ben approached the table and started to take off the lids over the food. There was a small steam table filled with kebabs of steak, chicken and shrimp, and rice. There were also plates of local vegetables baked golden, an array of fruits, bread rolls, and an assortment of pastries for dessert. Quickly Armitage and Ben filled their plates, opened the available bottle of wine, and sat on the couch to eat and chat happily while the beach fell further away.

 

They didn't go too far out before the captain turned off the boat's engine and dropped the anchor. She came over to introduce herself as Maria, refill their empty wine glasses, and then excused herself back to the front of the ship so they would have some privacy. Ben explained that the excursion included a one-hour cruise from the bio-luminescent beach for two people with food and drinks included. Maria had driven the boat out just far enough that the dock was still visible but the artificial light of the lamp didn't spoil the view of the ocean's natural glow from the plankton. Maria had dropped the anchor so that the front of the boat was facing the beach while the back where Armitage and Ben were seated faced further out into the dark, endless ocean of stars.

 

Once Armitage and Ben had had their fill of dinner, Ben took off his shoes and began rolling up his pant legs; Armitage followed his lead. After that they moved to sit on the back platform of the boat with their ankles dangling into the water. Armitage reached over for Ben's hand and silently laced their fingers together. They had been talking almost non-stop while eating and drinking but now, with bellies full and warm with food and wine, neither of them felt the need to break the silence right away with words. It was just so peaceful sitting there side by side, warm palms pressed together a direct contrast to the chill of the ocean lapping at them. The boat bobbed up and down slightly with the swell of bigger waves heading towards shore, but nothing disturbed the bio-luminescent plankton floating around them.

 

This was a moment Armitage knew he would never forget no matter what his future held. Regardless of whether Ben stayed in his life or not, if they spent the rest of their lives together or didn't work out, this would be a cherished memory. Armitage was so touched that Ben cared enough to learn about his interests, listen to him, and then actually do something as personal and thoughtful as this. Sitting here, Armitage felt his fears and uncertainties fade away and he took deep breaths of the ocean air.

 

As Armitage's body and mind relaxed, he rested his head on Ben's shoulder. He didn't know why he had worried so much yesterday but now the words were so simple to say; so right. "I love you too, Ben."

 

He felt the way Ben's body tensed with surprise a moment before Ben's free hand was reaching around to cup his cheek and lift his face. Armitage looked up into Ben's dark eyes and leaned into the kiss Ben was seeking. There was nothing in the world except them and the stars of the earth and sky surrounding them. Ben kissed him long and hard and Armitage responded eagerly until he felt wetness on his cheeks. Armitage sat up straight and brushed away Ben's tears before kissing him again.

 

"I love you so much," Ben said against his lips. "It's so good to hear you say it."

 

"Thank you for being patient with me," Armitage answered.

 

For a few long minutes they kissed gently and held one another close. Then, when the kiss naturally broke off, Armitage returned his head to Ben's shoulder. He shivered with the pleasant sensation of Ben wrapping his arm around Armitage's waist, holding him close. And there they stayed, wrapped in a loving embrace while they stared out at the beautiful dance of glowing plankton drifting closer to their boat while the stars lit up the canvas of the sky.


	7. Day 13 and 14

_Day Thirteen_

 

“You asked to see me?” Armitage said as he was let into his parents’ room. He could see Maratelle sitting in one of the chairs on the balcony, though the balcony door was open so that she could listen in on the conversation. Brendol paced back and forth in front of the large bed, arms crossed and expression sour. Armitage stood his ground, bracing for impact and doing his best to hide any building anxiety.

 

“Armitage, I’m concerned,” his father began after another few long seconds of silence. “Do you know _why_ I’m concerned?”

 

Armitage’s heart started to race. There was no way Brendol or Maratelle had seen him with Ben in any compromising way, was there? They had been so careful. Not wanting to risk giving anything away, Armitage answered, “I don’t.”

 

“You don’t,” Brendol repeated, stopping his pacing as he raised an eyebrow. “You _don’t_ know why I’m concerned. Yet you reassured me many times that you knew the purpose of this cruise, did you not?”

 

“Yes,” Armitage said tightly. He was beginning to find it hard to breathe, panic setting in. What tiny piece of this entire ruse had he missed?

 

“Tell me again, just to make sure we are both entirely clear,” Brendol demanded. Armitage wondered silently if his father would hit him despite being on such a crowded ship where someone would see the bruise.

 

“To find an eligible heiress and form a union with marriage by the end of the cruise,” Armitage recited.

 

“Correct.” His father stepped closer. They were almost the same height but years of bad memories made Armitage feel like his father was looming over him. “So perhaps you would like to explain to me how you expect to succeed in this matter without _a ring_.” Brendol’s eyes narrowed.

 

Understanding crashed down on Armitage like a lightning bolt. Of course. His father had access to his on-board account. Armitage had been very careful about never putting an expense on that account which would give away his relationship with Ben, but he hadn’t thought about what purchase his father _would_ be looking for. It was too late to backtrack, and tomorrow at the banquet when he had no engagement to announce he was doomed. But maybe he could buy himself one more day with one final lie.

 

“Actually, I was planning to go visit the shops to pick one out this afternoon with Rey’s cousin, Ben. You remember Ben,” Armitage added, hoping his father’s pleasant memories of Ben would sidetrack his ire. “I figure he can give me advice on what she would like best.”

 

“Is that so?” Brendol huffed, eyes still narrowed. Armitage could tell Brendol didn’t believe him, but Brendol also had no proof that Armitage _was_ lying.

 

“It is,” Armitage stood his ground, hiding behind his bluff.

 

“Well, then I’m sure you won’t mind if I join you and Ben on your shopping excursion.” Brendol’s eyes were calculating and his smile was amused. “Let’s go now.”

 

Dread started to weigh heavy in Armitage’s stomach. There would be no way for him to warn Ben about his newest lie in advance of their arrival. “I don’t know if he’s ready to go now,” Armitage argued, but even he knew it sounded weak.

 

Brendol placed a hand on Armitage’s shoulder and squeezed, hard. It wouldn’t bruise but it hurt and Armitage winced. “I’m sure he’ll understand the father of the future groom wanting to take part in such an important purchase. Lead on.”

 

Armitage couldn’t refuse without making Brendol even more suspicious. He pulled sharply away from Brendol’s tight grip and started walking towards the door, knowing Brendol would follow him. Armitage didn’t bother dragging his heels and before he was ready they were at Ben’s cabin door. He knocked with Brendol standing just behind his shoulder, the one still aching from Brendol’s grip. Ben opened the door and looked between them, expression switching from happy to confused to happy again, though Armitage could tell that the second smile was fake. “Good to see you again, sir,” he gave Brendol a nod. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

 

“My father wanted to join us on our shopping trip,” Armitage rushed to answer before Brendol could try to catch them in a lie. “He reminded me that there’s not much time left to buy a ring for Rey.”

 

Thankfully Ben was sharp and caught on quickly. “Ah yes, the ring. Let me just grab my room card.” Two minutes later Armitage and Ben were walking down the hallways towards the centre of the ship where all the jewellery, watch and clothing stores were located. They made sure to walk far enough apart that their shoulders didn’t brush since Brendol was mere steps behind them, walking and watching silently. “Actually, this timing works out perfectly,” Ben spoke up suddenly.

 

“How so?” Armitage questioned genuinely.

 

“My parents invited you to join us for dinner and now I can ask if you can come or if it interrupts any of your parents’ plans.” At this Ben glanced back over his shoulder for Brendol’s answer.

 

“What is the purpose of the invitation?” Brendol pried for more information before granting his blessing even though Armitage knew his father was probably over the moon at the thought of his son getting invited to eat with such a prominent family.

 

“To get to know him before he joins the family, of course,” Ben explained with a wink. Armitage had to bite his tongue to silence his groan. What was Ben doing? Now Brendol would be even angrier when no proposal happened the following day.

 

“That sounds like an excellent idea,” Brendol’s tone finally turned a bit more cheery. “Armitage would be delighted to attend.”

 

Once again Armitage felt like a Victorian lady being married off, just the way Ben had joked early on in the cruise when they were still getting to know one another. On top of his aggravation about his father’s behaviour and Ben putting him in an awkward position, Armitage was now also nervous about formally meeting Ben’s parents. Ruse or not, the thought was daunting, especially if Armitage’s family name preceded him and Ben’s parents decided they didn’t want him around. There was no way to discuss it privately though so Armitage tried to pretend his nerves were due to the topic of rings as he was led into the largest jewellery shop.

 

Ben started rattling off Rey’s preferences – real or not, Armitage would probably never know – about band colour, gemstones and diamond cuts. Armitage didn’t even know how Ben knew all the technical terms. Armitage pretended to listen and care as he peered down into the various glass display cases they walked by. Brendol was close by but seemed reassured enough by their show that he wasn’t literally breathing down their necks. Still, Ben made sure to ask Armitage questions about his own thoughts and preferences loudly enough to maintain the act.

 

It came to the inevitable conclusion: Armitage had to buy a ring even though he had no intention of giving it to Rey the following day, or ever. Not that she would accept it anyway but she had already done so much to help with their ruse that Armitage refused to drag her deeper into the situation by fake-proposing to her during the banquet. Brendol was insistent though, telling Armitage in no uncertain terms that he would not leave the shops until a ring had been purchased. Finally, as time got closer to his supposed dinner with Ben and his family, Armitage bought a gold ring with a large diamond in the centre and one ruby on each side.

 

Since the purchase was coming out of Brendol’s account, he insisted on keeping the ring in his safe until the next day. Armitage didn’t know what his father thought he would do with the ring if allowed to keep it but he let Brendol walk away gladly, sitting with heavy exhaustion on one of the couches set outside the shops for tired, bored husbands required to wait for their partners while they shopped the day away.

 

“Are you okay?” Ben sat beside him. There remained a respectable distance between them since they were in public and Armitage had to fight the urge to lean over and curl up in Ben’s lap.

 

“I feel like I could sleep for a year,” Armitage admitted, worn out by the adrenaline that had been rushing through his body for the last hour.

 

“If you want you could nap for an hour before dinner,” Ben suggested.

 

Armitage looked over at him. “Is that really happening?”

 

“Yeah.” Ben rubbed the back of his neck and lowered his voice even though the din of the passing crowds easily covered their words. “I told my parents about us and they wants to meet you. I’m sorry it’s last minute.”

 

“They… they _knows_?” Armitage asked. Now he had even more reason to worry. He wanted to take comfort in the fact that Ben’s parents learned about their relationship and didn’t immediately ban Ben from seeing him again – a very different reaction from what Armitage would get from Brendol. But still, what if this dinner was to assess Armitage only to determine that he wasn’t worthy?

 

“Armi, do you trust me?” Ben asked quietly.

 

Armitage exhaled heavily before answering, “Yes.”

 

Ben smiled with warm reassurance. “Then trust me on this: everything will be okay.” Ben stood from the couch, barely grazing his hand against Armitage’s forearm in passing. With another deep, steadying breath, Armitage followed him.

 

#

 

“Thank you for joining us for dinner,” Leia said to Armitage after they had all been introduced and seated at their table for four. Armitage had been relieved to know that Ben’s parents had made a reservation at one of the speciality dining rooms so that he didn’t need to worry about Brendol or Maratelle spying or overhearing any of the conversation. While Ben had reassured him that his parents understood why they needed to be discreet about their relationship in public on the ship, Armitage didn’t want to give the wrong impression to the people he was trying to impress.

 

Ben’s father, Han, seemed thankfully easygoing and was quickly appeased when Armitage was able to answer a few questions about mechanical tricks and tools. Armitage was silently grateful both for his passing interest in robotics back in university and for the heads-up from Ben that the more garage-talk there was, the happier Han would be.

 

Leia, on the other hand, remained intimidating even as the bread basket was placed in the middle of the table and their glasses were filled with wine. She wasn’t rude or prying in any way. However, Armitage could tell that she was sizing him up, and he did not want to fail her inspection.

 

“Thank you for the invitation,” Armitage responded politely. He was seated next to Ben with Leia across the table from him and Han across from Ben. “It’s lovely to meet you.” Armitage hoped his discomfort and anxiety wasn’t obvious.

 

“We feel the same way,” Leia smiled at him. Her smile eased his worries somewhat, though he could still read the calculation in her eyes. “We weren’t sure Ben would enjoy this cruise; in fact, he told us himself that he would not. And yet from the stories we’ve been told you have completely changed that.”

 

Despite himself, Armitage blushed. He glanced over at Ben who was also blushing but smiling as well. Ben gave a half shrug and a wink. “It’s true,” he admitted.

 

For a moment Armitage was caught up in Ben’s warm happiness. Then, when he looked back to Ben’s parents, he saw that their faces reflected that same happiness. Quickly Armitage’s fears melted away. He wasn’t sitting at a table with _his_ parents but with _Ben’s_ parents, and all they clearly cared about was the happiness of their child. This wasn’t about scheming or political alliances; they were simply enjoying the sight of their son in the proximity of what made him smile like that. And that just so happened to be Armitage.

 

Confidence renewed, Armitage silently reached over to rest his hand atop Ben’s at the edge of the table. It wasn’t visible to everyone but it wasn’t hidden either. Out of the corner of his eye Armitage could see Leia’s smile widen at the same time as Han gave a short nod of approval. But Armitage’s focus was on Ben, his heart fluttering in his rib cage as he proclaimed, “Let me assure you that Ben has had the exact same impact on me.”

 

#

 

_Day Fourteen_

 

Armitage fought the urge to pace as he heard name after name being called out and the line he was in slowly edged closer to the stage. Families who had signed up to partake in the farewell banquet had been organized at all of the tables available in the largest dining room on board the ship. Once everyone was seated, the children of those families to be “debuted” had been called backstage and lined up in alphabetical order. It wasn’t quite as ridiculous as those debutante balls Armitage had heard about since everyone being “introduced to society” was over twenty one on the ship, but the egos were still very thinly veiled.

 

Each individual backstage was given a card with their name to be handed to the announcer when it was their turn, and then they were to walk on stage. Each person had a few moments in the spotlight to make an announcement, proposition or something similar for the benefit of themselves and their family. It wasn’t mandatory, but unimpressed murmurs filled the room each time someone silently left the stage with nothing to say.

 

Armitage knew that would be the result when he walked onto stage, his name was called, and then he walked immediately for the stairs to get out of the spotlight. But that wasn’t why he was sweating under the collar of his best suit, close enough to a panic attack that it felt hard to breathe. His father was there, with Maratelle at his side and an empty chair on Brendol’s other side; that was the chair Armitage needed to sit down in after he failed his father by not announcing a proposal to Rey. Brendol wouldn’t do anything in public; of that Armitage was reasonably certain. But how long after the banquet ended did Armitage have before the first bruises were laid?

 

The worst part was that Armitage couldn’t even be wrapped up in Ben’s arms for comfort or reassurance. The line of young adults was long and it was dark backstage; there were too many people between “Hux” and “Solo” for them to approach each other or talk. Armitage just had to hope – _trust_ – Ben’s promise that Ben would still be here at the end of the cruise and that they would start a new life together.

 

“Psst, buddy.” Someone elbowed Armitage in the ribs, jolting him out of his anxious thoughts. The guy behind him in line pointed towards the announcer at the podium, who was looking back at them with an impatient expression. “Your turn.”

 

No matter how dramatic it sounded in his head, Armitage couldn’t shake the thought that he was walking to the gallows as he handed the name card to the announcer and stepped into the spotlight. With a quick glance in either direction Armitage confirmed his fears; there was no stage left or stage right to escape down. He would need to walk to the stairs leading off centre stage. The spotlight was blinding and felt as hot as the sun on Armitage’s already-flushed skin.

 

The announcer spoke his name and then offered Armitage the second, wireless microphone. Armitage considered it for an instant but realized he was too nervous to improvise an announcement other than the one Brendol was expecting. Subtly Armitage shook his head to decline and then he tried to ignore the weight of the ring box in his pants pocket as he walked down the stage towards the stairs. The one redeeming feature of the spotlight was that Armitage couldn’t pick out his parents in the crowd, nor read their expressions until he was already off stage and walking down the aisle to his seat among the swelling cloud of murmurs.

 

When Armitage reached his table, he saw that Maratelle had a look of tired disdain on her face. Perhaps she had never expected a result other than this one. Brendol on the other hand was a barely-contained thundercloud. As Armitage took his seat and set the ring box on the table in front of his father’s plate, he could feel the angry tension thickening the air around him. It made the hair on the back of Armitage’s neck stand on end. However, as Armitage had predicted, Brendol didn’t raise a hand in public. In fact, Brendol didn’t say anything at all, which betrayed how truly furious he was.

 

The announcer continued her job as many more individuals paraded down the stage. As uncomfortable as Armitage was sitting next to his father, he prayed silently for the banquet to never end because he was truly scared of what Brendol would do to him in private. Armitage was so caught up in his worries that he almost didn’t notice when Ben’s name was called, tuning in only when he heard Ben’s familiar voice speaking into the wireless microphone at centre stage.

 

“I’ll keep this short,” Ben promised, his voice noticeably shaking. “I did not want to come on this cruise and I expected to hate it. But then I met someone who changed not only my perspective on this cruise but on life in general. So, um…” Ben trailed off as he awkwardly got to one knee on stage and fished a tiny box out of his jacket pocket. At the same time Armitage’s heart jumped up into his throat. “I promised I would love you, and that we could share a life together beyond this cruise and I meant it. So Armitage, will you marry me?”

 

The ring box was popped open and though many people were seated too far away to see details, the gleam of a ring band beneath the spotlight was impossible to miss. Chatter swept the room and to Armitage’s horror, the house lights were turned on. Yes, there were plenty of people announced between “Hux” and “Solo”, but “Armitage” was an uncommon enough name that everyone remembered the redhead who had left the stage only a few minutes earlier.

 

Armitage wasn’t consciously aware of standing up, but he felt his father’s vice grip on his forearm when he tried to take his first step towards the stage. “You disappointed me at every turn and still I kept giving you chances,” Brendol snarled, making no effort to mask his voice from the surrounding crowd. “But now _this_? You disgusting, unnatural waste of space!”

 

“Let go of me!” Armitage demanded and tried to pull away but winced when Brendol’s nails dug in.

 

“If you take one more step towards that stage it is the last thing you will ever do,” Brendol warned, and Armitage could tell that he meant it.

 

Before Armitage could decide what to do, someone else came between them. “You let go of that boy, _right now_.” It took Armitage a second to register that it was Han with one hand prying away Brendol’s grasp and the other against Brendol’s chest, physically pushing him back. Last night at dinner Han had seemed so relaxed but now there was fire in his eyes that matched Brendol’s own anger. Armitage hadn’t realized that Ben’s family was sitting close enough, or would have the inclination to intervene on his behalf, but grateful tears filled his eyes.

 

With Han’s assistance, Armitage escaped Brendol’s grasp. The momentum from pulling away carried him backwards and on instinct he turned and dashed right into Ben’s arms, who was already halfway to him after leaving the stage. Ben swept him up into a hug tight enough to hold all the fraying pieces of Armitage together, to keep him from falling apart with the shock and pain and embarrassment. The microphone had been left back on stage but the words were for no one but Ben as Armitage offered his answer. “Yes! Yes, I’ll marry you.”

 

One of Ben’s arms remained around Armitage’s waist while Ben’s other hand came up to cup his cheek. Armitage went willingly when Ben pulled him into a kiss to seal the promise. Among the hurricane of pain and emotions Armitage was feeling, Ben’s kiss was so gentle and reassuring that Armitage couldn’t help but let a few tears escape as he kissed back.

 

“You make me sick!” Brendol’s voice shattered the moment. “I will not tolerate this filth! You are no longer part of this family.”

 

“From now on he is a part of _our_ family.” Leia’s voice rang out over Brendol and the crowd. Her voice was more restrained than her husband’s, who Armitage saw was still standing as a physical shield between Brendol and Armitage, but no less furious. “Security, can we have something done about this man and his appalling manners?”

 

It was a testament to the social power of Ben’s family name when security personnel immediately raced forward and began escorting Brendol and Maratelle out of the dining room. Maratelle went quietly but Brendol continued to rave until the doors were shut in his face and he was walked further away to another part of the ship.

 

Suddenly the room was silent and all eyes were back on Armitage and Ben who were still in their embrace. Armitage wanted to stay in Ben’s arms – forever if possible – but preferably not in the middle of such a crowd. “You didn’t just ask me to save me from my father, did you?” Armitage couldn’t help but ask.

 

Ben shook his head. “It wasn’t because of him. It was for you, and for us. So, can I please give you the ring?”

 

Ben’s blend of shyness and determination was so endearing that Armitage was willing to put up with the crowd for a few seconds longer. He nodded and watched with warm anticipation as Ben fumbled open the ring box and slipped a simple platinum band with one small, embedded emerald on his ring finger. Armitage realized it was the same ring he had admired yesterday while buying a fake ring for Rey; Ben had been paying a lot more attention than Armitage had thought.

 

After this they would go to Armitage's room, with security if needed, to collect his possessions and then sleep in Ben's room for the last night of the cruise. And tomorrow Armitage would leave the ship with Ben and his family to start anew. He cared very little for the majority of his belongings back home if Brendol put up a fight about relinquishing them, and Armitage was ready to move on with Ben by his side. To his surprise the entire room began to applaud when the ring slid into place, but Armitage was quickly distracted by Ben’s kiss which he eagerly returned.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on: [Tumblr](http://onewhositswiththeturtles.tumblr.com/), [Pillowfort](https://www.pillowfort.io/onewhositswiththeturtles), or [Twitter](https://twitter.com/owswtt)
> 
> Find invadxrs on: [Tumblr](http://invadxrs.tumblr.com/), [Twitter](https://twitter.com/invxdxrs), or Pillowfort (link TBD)


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